rumours # hyunin

epilogue

I felt betrayed.

"Jeongin, I want you to explain this to me. Why are you on the news and who is this boy?"

My dad was mad. Jisung felt the need to make mine and Hyunjin's relationship public, posting a picture of us kissing in the, what we thought, empty school hallways. He also got access to the graduation video which we were working on for a long time in our club. Hyunjin and Chan worked on it a lot because they were rather new, it came out very well too but he ruined everything. Once again.

At least I assumed it was him. He did run the rumour page after all, no matter how many times Minho tried to protect him and even claimed it was himself to Felix.

But who was I to know that Hwang Hyunjin was the heir of Hwang Corp. but his father kicked him out, that's why he lived alone? Apparently it was a rather big company, just not too interesting for students or people my age in general.

But things got even worse.

"You heard him, Dad, I am not even his friend. We're classmates."

"Bullshit, who kisses his classmate?"

"He said-"

I gulped, the lump in my throat growing tighter.

"He said, he felt bad for me."

And it hurt. So bad. I wish I could say it was only for his protection because being part of the LGBTQ+ community in Korea wasn't easy but it also wasn't something that didn't happen. Why did he lie to me? Was it all just a game to him after all?

I felt my dad's hand on my shoulder and looked up at him. Anger was replaced with worry. When he pulled me into a tight hug, stroking the back of my head, I let it all out. I cried like I haven't cried before and it kept hurting. Everything felt horrible.

Betrayal after betrayal.

"He is engaged and he never told me. I feel so fucking, used, so - so dirty and disgusting."

Getting attention from my parents was never something usual to me. They would rather talk about my siblings' accomplishments more than me as a person. So when they did take care of me it had always a negative origin.

Just like now. I was thankful for him comforting me but a part of me hated it. This wasn't the love I wanted to be shown but I didn't say anything anymore.

--

"Jeongin, please, let me explain."

Hyunjin was standing in our apartment, my parents and brothers left for work and school but I decided to skip, not feeling like seeing anyone. I was going to change schools anyway. I had enough of being the person people laughed at all the time.

And Hyunjin got me mad. The hurt I felt turned into blatant anger, pushing him harshly away from me each time he got closer.

"What else is there to say? We slept together and the week after you announce your engagement. Oh, congratulations by the way. Does your fiancee know that you and I fu-"

"Do you think I would ask you to be my boyfriend, love you all night and day just because I felt bad for you?"

He looked at me in disbelief.

"God, I don't know shit about you, Hyunjin or should I address you as Mister Hwang from now on?"

The tears forming in his eyes made my heart ache still. "He deserved this," I told myself. I suffered for so long, I was humiliated so many times but at least Jisung didn't drop me right after we got intimate.

I felt pathetic.

"I am so sorry. This isn't what I wanted, okay? I love you, Jeongin, so incredibly much and denying you, denying our relationship was all part of my father's plan. He threatened to hurt you, I couldn't let him get away with this."

The now blonde haired boy sank down to his knees, burrying his face in his hands as his shoulders started shaking.

He loved me.

"And how do I know that this is true? That you won't play me again?"

I didn't get an answer and looked down to him, my own eyes tearing up as well. God, everything sucked so bad.

"Innie, please. I never even once played you."

Hyunjin lifted his head, his beautiful eyes now red and puffy.
After his voice cracked, I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from crying.

"Please don't leave me like everyone else did."

I sat down in front of him, touching his cheek with my hand and wiping away the tears that stained his face. As I felt him melt into my touch, my heart broke over and over again.

"You asked me to promise you to talk about what bothers me but Hyunjin, in a relationship everything goes both ways. It's giving and taking, so please, let me know when you're hurting so we can go through this together, okay?"

With the hand that was lying on his cheek I now ran through his soft hair, wondering why it didn't feel dry after he bleached it.
Even after a few minutes passed and we simply looked at each other in silence, he didn't say anything but then he decided to speak up.

"I love you, Jeongin."

"Do you?"

"Yes."

Not a single hint of amusement present on his face. Even if the situation was fucked up and I still felt hurt, it didn't feel bad to hear him say it.

"You're engaged."

"I know."

"And you still love me?"

"I do."

We didn't move. Minutes passed and it was just us looking at each other while our worlds were still falling apart.

"Will you break it off?"

"She knows I have a boyfriend."

"That doesn't make it right nor does it answer my question."

He pressed his lips together, his eyes still trained on me.

"We're working on a plan. We will find a way."

Hyunjin cupped my cheeks, pressing a soft kiss on my forehead.

"I won't give up on you."

--

[FIN].