Constant smile - shinso x kaminari

Chapter Eighteen

Denki looked around at his surroundings. He was deeply confused as to why he was sitting in a meadow of flowers. A dull ache settled in his head as he scanned the area for someone to tell him what the fuck was going on. Denki saw a figure in the distance and got up to walk over to them but he felt a sharp stabbing pain in his leg, although there was no sign of injury when he looked down. When he finally got up and reached the person he realised it was Hitoshi. From behind Hitoshi, Denki wrapped his arms around the taller boy's middle section. He then poked his face over Hitoshi's shoulder and was instantly worried at the distraught and terrified look on Hitoshi's face. "Hey, what's wrong?" Hitoshi's head stiffly moved down to look at the yellow haired boy. "I'm sorry." He turned around and held onto Denki for dear life. "I'm so sorry." He was deeply confused why Hitoshi was crying into his shoulder. "What are you sorry for? You didn't do anything." Hitoshi took a step back. "Exactly." Denki's pain in his leg intensified, he looked down to see a knife lodged into it. He frantically tore his glance back to Hitoshi with eyes more frightened than a mouse cornered by a cat. Denki then felt like he was surrounded by water. Hitoshi said something along the lines of, "sorry...wasn't...there." But it was muffled. Denki woke up with a gasp and tried to take in his new surroundings. There was no more meadow, it was replaced with a dark mouldy cellar. And instead of Hitoshi there was a man Denki had never hoped to see again. "Hello there son."

Hitoshi paced back and forth in Aizawa's office, trying to think of where the fuck Denki was. The suitcases under the boy's eye reached the world record of how sunken and dark eye bags could be. Running on 2 litres of coffee and a mad case of adrenaline, Hitoshi tried to think of something, anything. But his mind drew a blank and he finally sat down, consumed with worry for Denki and guilt for not going to therapy with him. The click of the door opening caused Hitoshi's head to lift out of his hands. His father, Aizawa, poured a cup of coffee and sat next to Hitoshi who was eagerly waiting for some good news. The runner up in the record for biggest eye bags sipped his coffee before turning his head to his son. "They're sending out search parties as we speak, we will find him." Aizawa said with conviction. Hitoshi swiftly stood up. "If they're ending search parties, I want to be out there as well." Aizawa sighed. "Son that wouldn't be wise in your condition-" Hitoshi turned and locked eyes with Aizawa. "No. You will not keep me here while he is missing, I will be going out there whether you like it or not. I don't care about my condition, all I care about now is Denki. We need to find him...w-we need to find him dad." Aizawa put his arms around Hitoshi's shaking figure. "Suit up."

Hitoshi sat in the dark briefing room, surrounded by some of his classmates. As much as he wanted to keep his full attention on Nezu at the front, he kept thinking the same thought over and over again. 'It's all my, all my fucking fault. If I had just been there Denki would have been safe. It's all my fault.' He was snapped out of his thoughts by a concerned Mina shaking his shoulder. "Hey Shinso, the briefing is over now...you alright?" Hitoshi let out a small scoff. "I'm fucking perfect, just perfect." Mina had a knowing look on her face. "I know you're hurting right now Shinso, I'm here when you need me." Hitoshi willed himself not to cry and stood up. "We need to be out there looking for Denki right now." Mina sadly smiled, nodded and followed the boy with the shaking hands out of the room.

Aizawa gave the group of three their assignment: talk to Doctor O'Reilly. Kirishima's eyebrows lifted at the knowledge of Denki going to therapy. "Why was denks going to therapy? Was he alright? Was I a shitty friend for not noticing? And now he's gone I-...did I really know him at all?" He said as they drove to Doctor O'Reilly's office. Mina put her hand over the sharp toothed boy's own. "You were a good friend Kiri, you always made him happy and smile that big smile of his-" Hitoshi tried to keep himself from snapping at the pair. 'Good friends? Good friends?! You guys were SHITTY friends. Did you see him hurting? Did you notice him having shaking hands OR THE FUCKING CUTS ON HIS ARM OR MAYBE THE THOUSANDS OF BRUISES HE HAD DAILY, DID YOU? DID YOU?!' Seeing the car had come to a halt outside of the office, Hitoshi jumped out and slammed the door behind him. One more minute in there and he would have said it all.

Hitoshi took some deep breaths sitting in the waiting room, waiting for the others that were still coming from the car. As he calmed down he realised it really wasn't their fault. Denki had the mindset imprinted by his father that no one loved him and no one could ever love him, which was utter bullshit because Denki was an amazing person. So then he wouldn't tell anyone pretty much about anything, unless they found out first hand at the crime scene. Denki. Hitoshi missed him so much already even if it's only been a couple of days. And it was his fucking fault he was missing. Finally Kirishima and Mina walked in the door, looking worriedly at the purple haired boy. Kiri sat down next to him while Mina sat on the other side of Kiri. "Hey bro you okay?" Hitoshi sighed. "Uh huh." And with perfect timing the doc let out their patient and ushered the three in.

"So Mr Aizawa called me saying you had some questions for me about Kaminari?" The three sat on the leather couch uncomfortably as Mina nodded. "Yes, he went missing two days ago and this was supposedly the last place he was." The Doctor knowingly nodded and gestured for the group to start the questions. Kiri cleared his throat. "Was Kami acting weird at all during his last session?" They shook their head. "No not at all, he was his normal self. A little happy, a little sad and excited about stuff." Mina was next to ask. "Did he mention anything about running away or anything?" The doc shook their head again. "Nope, he had just bought a birthday present for Shinso, it was...a mug? And some incense I think, if that helps." Hitoshi defectively looked away. These questions were going nowhere. The other two on the couch turned to Hitoshi, silently asking him if he wanted to ask his question but he just stared at the floor. "Well thank you for your time, have a nice day." The Doctor smiled. "You too, good luck in finding him." Kirishima thanked them and the group all stood up to leave. Before getting out the door the doc called out to Hitoshi. "Shinso." He turned around. "You'll find him I'm sure of it so stop blaming yourself." Hitoshi smiled at the Doctor and left. 'You know what, they're right. We'll find him.'

After a long day, Hitoshi finally returned to his dorm. After having a shower to freshen up his mind went into overthinking mode about it being his fault for not going with Denki. If he could have just-. But there were no points in ifs or what ifs because it already happened. All you can do is change what you do in the present and future. Suddenly he got a message on his phone from the drama queen herself. Hey Shinso, do ya wanna come to Kiri's dorm? The whole baku-squad is here thinking of ways to find Denki and find out what happened to him. Hitoshi texted back yes and started gathering things. He sent a message with his mind to Denki. 'I'll find ya Denki, I won't give up, just hold on.'

He better be quick.

A/n - hello humans. I was wrong in the author's note last chapter about the covid thing, my country is just nuts (we're only getting like 1500 cases a day and we've been in lockdown for 2 months). Can you guess what country I'm from? Anywho, for the people who read the last chapter during the first couple days of it's release: read the mother bit again, I changed it (so now he just doesn't know how she died). It's suicide prevention month so if you know anyone and you are experiencing those fucking shite voices/thoughts, tell the voices/thoughts to go fuck themselves and reach out to someone, trust me it's worth it. Anyway my lovelies have great days, nights, etc. Vote, comment, subscribe, learn a language, give the v.i.p s in your life some hugs, read wattpad at four in the morning.