If I Stay • The Final [BTS X ARMY X KPOP]

14. EMPTINESS

Narrator:

Jisoo's room was completely bathed in darkness, with the foggy moon light as the only source of luminance in the room that passed through one of the windows. The room was eerily quiet, as if even the insects and birds outside were silently mourning with the broken girl inside the room.

In the farthest corner of Jisoo's bed chamber she sat crouched on the floor with her knees pulled to her chest and her head buried in between. She had been sitting like that for hours, ever since she had heard the tragic news, turning herself into as tiny a ball as possible as if to swallow herself with the huge velvet cloak that covered her. She could not believe it, Jina was gone, gone forever and she could not even bid goodbye. She could never even tell her how thankful she had been to have her and how much she loved her. But what angered her the most, was herself.

She hated herself for leaving at such a time. She hated it that Jina had to die to protect her. But most of all, she hated herself because even in this moment, she couldn't cry. There were no tears in her eyes.

Jisoo was angry to a very dangerous level, but her sorrow was greater, and yet she did not feel the bile in her throat, or the stinging in her eyes. As if the circuit to cry had been shut off, and all Jisoo could do was stare into space. Jina was dead, and she couldn't even mourn properly. Her heart was breaking over and over again, her body ached with guilt and hatred. But yet, no tears. Jisoo was emotionless.

At one point she had even tried to ease her own heart by putting the blame on someone else. That it was the Guardians and BTS fault that Jina was dead. That they should have backed her up when she was cornered. Because she was never a match for Lucifer. They shouldn't have left but they did. It was their fault.

But would any of that be necessary, if Jisoo had never left?

Jisoo groaned, throwing her head backwards and staring out of the window. She didn't know anything anymore. One minute this felt like the right decision, and the next it was wrong. Then the cycle continues, until every decision Jisoo makes always backstabs her. Just when will she ever fix this right?

There was a knock on Jisoo's door, slowly but surely there, and Jisoo slowly turned her head towards it, watching as the door crept open and a bright light from the hallway filtered in. A figure peeped their head, until the whole body was inside before they closed the door behind them.

"It's so dark in here." Namjoon whispered to himself, knowing full well that Jisoo could hear him. But Jisoo made no attempt to reply. Her mouth felt raw and numb as if she had lost her voice. Namjoon cleared his throat, walking deeper into the darkness and finding his way around, until his eyes landed on the lone figure of Jisoo on the floor with the open window above her. Namjoon's lips parted, but no words came. He wanted to comfort her, tell her that everything was going to be alright, but he couldn't, for he couldn't make empty promises and also, Namjoon wasn't very good at consoling. He had only known Jisoo for a brief period of time, but he loved her like the rest of them. His heart went out for her as he stared at her fragile figure on the floor, all lost and helpless. But he did not know what else to say, so he went straight to business, the reason he was here in the first place.

"Jisoo, you are needed downstairs." Namjoon said softly, waiting for her to reply. When no reply came, he continued. "We have guests and they-they want to talk to you. You should come down."

Namjoon stared at the dark girl for a long time. When he understood that no reply would come, he began walking away, until he heard her raspy whisper. "Who are they?"

"Actually they are...her family. The Deity of Times family. A lot of Deities are here. Oh, and also, EXO, GOT7, TWICE, Girls Generation and BlackPink are here too. They were brought here earlier when you were away by their guardians for safety purposes. No one is safe on their own now." Namjoon explained with the authority of a leader, watching as Jisoo slowly got to her feet and stared at him. "Fine. Lead the way."