Daniel
"Daddy come play with me and Charlie"
"I can't baby I'm tired"
"But mommy said you have to spend time with me. that's why she went with her friends. remember!"
"yes I remember but-"
"whatever daddy you never want to hang out with me" she pouts
I recently got my pain medicine and it makes me super tired. luckily it also makes me not feel any pain at all
Delilah went out with her friends for the day and so I'm here with Lily and the dog
I don't mind being with them but I'm also very tired
"I do want to hang out with you I'm tired though"
"then can I lay down with you? or will you yell at me for touching your leg"
"Lily-"
"what daddy you don't like me I know it"
"what no way baby, I love you"
"no, you don't. you always yell at me, never want to play any games with me, you want me to go away to school, and you want mommy to have another baby so you don't have to deal with me. I know you don't love me"
"Lily please don't say that. I only yelled cause my foot hurt, I'm too tired to play anything, you need school to be smart, and I want another baby so you can have a sibling and you're so amazing I want more. I'm sorry if you think that I don't like you but I really do. I love you a lot Lily you're my baby"
"can I have a hug then"
"of course"
I reach down and hug her
"do you still love me, baby"
"mhm only if you love me"
"I do. you're my daughter I made you, how could I not love something I made"
"I don't know. you're always gone so maybe you forgot about me"
"I'd never ever forget about you or mommy. when I go away it's for work not for fun and I miss you the whole time"
"promise"
"I promise. now mommy did tell me you need to have a nap"
"ugh, she always makes me nap! I don't want to cant I just play with Charlie and we tell her I did"
"I don't think mommy will be happy if we lie to her"
"argh fine I'll only nap with you though"
"okay good come up here"
she stands up from the floor and lays down on me. I put a blanket over us and I see her close her eyes
"so you were tired"
"maybe"
"I love you lily I'm sorry I'm not the best dad in the world but I'm trying the best I can and I will keep trying until you see that"
"it's okay daddy I still love you" she whispers and I can't help but start to cry
I do love her and Delilah so much and I hate that they don't think I do. I mean Delilah yesterday saying that I like to call her mean things made me so upset and now lily saying she thinks I don't love her feels even worse
I need to show them how much I love
them
