the day i've been regretting is here
Lily is leaving the house and going to preschool away from me
i'm excited that she's going to school but i'm so sad that she's growing up
i get her ready for school and she looks so cute
"aw Lily are you excited"
"i'm scared"
"it will be fun i promise don't worry"
"where's daddy?"
"he's still sleeping i'll go get him"
i walk into our room and he's asleep
"babe wake up" i whisper shaking him
"mmm i'm tired"
"it's Lily's first day of school you have to wake up"
"no i don't want to"
"seriously daniel. she has to go soon and she wants to see you"
"i don't care" he groans
"i can't believe you right now. you've been so fucking good to us for the past three weeks and now you're ruining it"
"it's not that big of a deal"
"whatever daniel fuck you. it's your daughters first ever day of school and you can't even say bye! what's wrong with you"
i leave the room and slam the door loudly
"momma where is he!"
"he's back to his normal self. don't worry about it though we have to go now"
"i want to see daddy though! i'm not going until i see him"
"he doesn't want to right now Lily we have to leave"
"NO!"
"come on please"
"i'm not going mommy!"
she runs upstairs and i follow her as she runs into our room
"daddy wake up! i'm going to school soon so i need a hug from you"
"i can't get up baby i'm sorry. my leg hurts"
"take your medicine then! i just want a hug" she starts to cry and he finally sits up sighing
"come here"
she hugs him and kisses his cheek
"daddy please take your medicine every day. i need to be able to see you before i go to school"
"i will honey i promise. can i come with mommy and bring you to school"
she nods and they get up
"momma he's coming. you lied and said he not that's mean"
"i didn't lie he told me he wasn't"
"still you said he's going back to being his normal self! when he was mean! daddy's not the mean one YOU'RE the mean one!"
"really i'm the mean one"
"yes. daddy i only want YOU to bring me to school not mommy! I HATE mommy!
i start to tear up and Daniel just looks at me
"are you not going to say anything" i say to Daniel
"i mean if she wants me to bring her i will"
"fine! bring her to school. pick her up too, feed her, give her her naps, clean her, help her go to bed! do everything Daniel that i am so terrible at. have fun at school Lily you may hate me but i love you so much" i leave my room with tears all down my face and i lay on the couch to cry even more
i can't believe she said she hates me
i try my hardest and do everything for her that Daniel doesn't and that's what she says. i'm heartbroken
i see them come downstairs with Daniel all dressed and they look at me
"we're going now" he says to me and walks out
worst day ever
at least it can't get any worse than it already is
i hope
