To Have and To Hold

Chapter 10

Lisa lay on the bed, exhausted yet again. The goofy smile on her face could not be suppressed. This was a glorious morning, indeed. God, she had missed him so much. How had she ever survived without him? How in the world had she conjured up the strength to leave in the first place. For what? And wasn't it funny how standards of acceptability could change basically overnight? She left because she had felt it was impossible to live with him under constant fears of losing him, under constant pressure to have another baby, and under constant state of war with either Michael or his people. And then there was Debbi and her diabolic offer.

Now, she suddenly had been confronted with the reality of not being able to live without him. His absence had robbed her existence of all light, rendering reality with a blurry black and white version of what used to be her life. Like a sun loving plant transported into a subterranean cellar, this absence of his physical and emotional love had reduced her to a hollow shell. Now, having once again subjected herself to his intoxicating influence, she was not sure how she was supposed to return to the grave she had condemned herself to.

After her initial exhausting sleep, she had woken to Michael playing with her hair. She tried to open her eyes without him noticing and spied under the curtain of lowered lashes as he held a long curl between his fingers, feeling the smoothness, bending it toward the light. She had no idea why the innocent gesture touched her heart. It was just like earlier, when she had noticed that he sat there, watching her while she slept. She must have gone totally crazy because she also had imagined he had told her that he loved her. Well, she reminded herself to stay rooted in reality and not let her wishful thinking take her hostage.

"Hey, sleepy head. Did I wake you?" He must have noticed her eyes on him.

"No, not really. What are you up to?"

He smiled down at her, still playing with her hair.

"I dreamt of waking up next to you so many times. It was like I missed the feeling of your hair tickling me. Weird how you get used to stuff like that. And weird how those are the things you miss."

She swallowed hard. He was being so sweet. Could she maybe just enjoy this nowhere-land a couple of hours more before having to face the exact topography of the terrain that was his new life? A new life devoid of old boundaries, but full of brand new territories, rules, and borders.

"If you had told me you missed my hair, I would have sent you a strand, you know?"

Michael let go of the silken thread and instead placed his hand on her cheek, now gently caressing the smoothness of her skin.

"I missed the stubborn little person the hair is attached to, as well. I miss your head, your eyes, your nose, your mouth..." He let his fingers glide over her face, allowing them linger a second longer on her lips, tracing her mouth. Lisa could not let this opportunity pass by and she grabbed his slender wrist, keeping his hand accessible, her tongue darting out, turning his long, sensual digit into her playground, climbing and caressing it at the same time before surrounding it, then sucking it into her hot mouth. Michael watched her intently, and she noticed his eyes changing shade, getting darker, hotter, more intense, turning into a magical hypnotic mirror, getting ready to hypnotize her.

Lisa surrendered his finger only to bestow little kisses on his hand, taking special care with the thin membrane of the sensitive area on the inside of his wrist. She had always loved and adored his hands. Not only for his touches and the responses they could seduce from her body, but also for their pure esthetic value.