To Have and To Hold

Chapter 13

Michael turned and headed toward the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Debbies’ accusing gaze was the last thing he saw before he shut out that part of his life to sort out another.  He felt a twinge of guilt which he managed to block out, assuring himself it was in Debbie’s best interest to get to a calmer environment.

He braced against the closed door with both hands, standing there for a second with his head lowered against the cool wood.  All he needed was this one second to collect his thoughts.  He half expected to be assaulted by Lisa’s sarcasm and anger.  When all he heard was silence, he turned and found the room empty.  He heard the toilet flush followed by running water and wondered briefly if she was taking another shower.  Women! They were so strange.

Dropping onto the bed, he sank back, gazing up at the ceiling, pondering how he would manage to calm Lisa down after that little lunch debacle.  The bathroom door opened and seeing him she stopped in the door, bracing one arm in the frame, her other arm on her hip. Something was off: she looked pale and had some read blotches on her cheeks.  And why did it look like her hair was slightly damp?

“Are you ok?” It seemed like a safe enough question.  She raised her eyes and he was met by sapphire sparks zapping him.  Ok, maybe there was no safe question right now.

“What you think?”

“You look pale.”

“I don’t feel well.”

His eyes narrowed.  “Are you sick? Do you need a doctor? I can call one, you know.”

“No, I don’t need a doctor.  Your little wife made my stomach turn, that’s all.”

“You got sick?”

“I’m fine.”

Well, she did not look fine.  She was such a miserable liar at times.  It was all right there on her face. 

“Why don’t you sit down? Can I get you some ginger ale or something?”

“I’m fine, Michael.  Really.  I just got my nerves worked up.  Which is so fucked up.  I mean, seriously.  What did I expect? I knew what you were doing here.  I fucking knew it. And yet I came.  The eternal glutton for punishment.”

“Look, I did not mean for you to have a run-in with her. I’m sorry.  I’m sorry she rubbed in that she’s pregnant.”

“Oh, are you?  Are you sorry she is carrying your baby, Michael? Are you?”  Lisa glared at him through the curtain of tears in her eyes.

He swallowed.  No, he was not.  He might be sorry about the circumstances that had led him to this chaos, but he would never be sorry to have this little human being to look forward to.  Even as he knew Lisa was thinking of the baby they had lost.  And the babies she had denied them after that. 

Lisa broke eye contact as he kept staring at her. 

“Never mind, that wasn’t fair.  Of course you’re not.  Anyway.  The fantasy is over.  Back to reality.  I will let you get to your little wife, and I will try and go on with my life.”

Her life?  What did that mean?  Her life with whom?  Her life without him?  Not if he had anything to say about it.

“I thought you agreed to stay another day or two.”