Cut Open

Cut Open: chapter nine

I took in another deep breath, and held it. My hands started to become sweaty, so I gripped the knife tighter. Slowly I drug it up my side, then over to my chest. The pain was excruciating, tearing through muscle, scrapping bones, the blood. I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. I just couldn't, this was the pain I was waiting for, and I wasn't about to let it get away from me that easily. Cutting across my chest, I pull the knife up more towards my neck. Maybe this will make a difference.

Blood rushed out of the wound and down my body. I took the blade out of my cut when I got up to the bottom of my neck. Maybe I went a little to far? White puss started to ooze out along with the blood. I covered my mouth in surprise, but it was so disgusting to look at. I looked away.

I started to walk into the bathroom, when I started to become light headed. I felt so light, so gone, I couldn't do anything but fall to the floor. As I fall, I can't move out of the way of the sink. My head hits it with such force I black out. Not all the way, but I couldn't speak, I couldn't move.

I hear the muffled sound of my door bursting open, and Clair running into the bathroom towards me. Tears were flowing from her eyes, and she was crying, loudly. She touched my cheek softly then touched my chest. I didn't move, and I didn't want to. Clair quickly stumbled up and ran out of the room.

It felt like hours had past before she came running back into the room. She fell to her knees before she could get to me, but she managed to scoot close to me. She was messing with something in her hands, and it looked like bandages or gauze and some cotton pads . Quickly she unwrapped the bandages and put the cotton pads over my cut before she tightly wrapped the bandages over them. I moaned in pain, but she didn't care. She just kept repeating the process; cotton pad, bandage, cotton pad, bandage. 

I started to breathe heavily as the tightness of the bandages started to interfere with my breathing. Clair didn't notice, all she could notice is the gash on my head. She picked up another cotton pad and placed it on the gash that was on the side of my head. She quickly wrapped another bandage tightly over it, and she was done.

My vision was starting to get hazy, and I could barely see. Clair sat down and rested against the wall, looking at me. She sighed then looked at the ceiling. I felt so helpless right now. I couldn't do anything, all I could do now was watch. My head was killing me, and I wanted to close my eyes,but I couldn't. Not yet.

"You dumb ass..." She said, her voice fading. Not again, I couldn't let the two people that I love fade away. Not Clair, she was all that I've got now. I tried to sit up, but I fell right back down. Clair looked at me confused. Damn it, move! I told myself. But I couldn't. The pain was to much.

I tried to take a deep breath, but it didn't last. Finally I gathered up all of my strength that I had left, and scooted over towards Clair. My arms gave out, and my head landed by her thigh. She looked down at me and smiled. Her hand brushed my hair out of my eyes, and she started to play with my hair.

We sat there in silence, maybe for a little to long. My eyes started to close, and I started to drift off. If I was to die, right now, I would want it to be like this. Right by my sister.Smiling, I finally close my eyes all the way, and I slip into the darkness.

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When I opened my eyes, the room was dark. Where am I, what time is it? Slowly sitting up I rubbed my eyes and placed my hand on the side of my head. Pain rushed quickly to that spot of my head, and I dropped my hand. I looked down at my body and saw that I was covered in blankets, I was in my bed. How- oh, Clair must have done this. Again.