The Orc With A Heart

Chapter 9: Goodbyes

I was a bit surprised by all of it, even though I really should not be surprised by any of it at the exact same time as well, as I had known that this was coming for quite a bit of some time at this point. I had just been a bit lost in my head as of late, as I knew just what it was that I was leaving behind. In reality, what it was that I was leaving behind me, really was not all too much, as I did not have that much at my home as it was, and also the fact that I never really had much whilst I had been even living here in the very first place any ways as well.
Sure, it was true that I did in fact love my father, but that was not going to get me to change my mind in all of this at all how ever. I did not really have that much left besides the fact that I had my father, who, for most of my life I had not got to see him all that much any ways, due to the fact that he was always in the army, and he was always doing some thing. Now it was my turn to do what it was that he used to do. It was used to at this point, because I knew that he in fact had told me the news just the day of me going to join in to the army, that he had retired.
It made sense, as I also knew that he had just had his 25th anniversary party not all too long ago as well, where they gave him a very big retirement boost, which I knew had been just what it was that he had been waiting for. Now he was set for the rest of his life, and he did not have to worry about not having enough money for the rest of his life at the exact same time too. I wanted to be just like him in those regards as well, as I did not really want to ever have to worry about money at any point, but also the fact that I wanted to get away from all of this.
That was where me and my father differed a bit from one another, as I knew that his entire life he had just wanted to be back at his home, but for me, I did not want to be here, due to the fact that I saw the looks on the faces of all of the people when they saw me walking across the street, as if I was a normal human, which, I was not going to lie to my self at the exact same time as well. I had to face the facts at this point, even if my good friends told me that they treated me like I was, I was not a normal human, like or it either way that I looked at it.
I let out quite a bit of a soft sigh to my self, all at the exact same time too. My father tried to treat me like I was one, but he too had even told me that I was not like the rest. He had said that it was not a bad thing, but it for certain did seem to feel like it was a bad thing a lot of the time, as people did not treat me the way that a normal human should be treated to for sure. It was not a good thing in that aspect at the exact same time as well, as I knew that every one seemed to treat me like trash.
I suppose that I really could not blame them at the exact same time as well, as I also knew all of the stories that I had been told as to what it was that orcs did to humans if they got their hands on them, as well as what it was that they did to the women. It made me sick all of those stories that I had been told, from even some women that had been stuck in an orc camp, that they had some how managed to get out, when the army had gone to come and save them. They had given them a safe home as well, never the less.
That did not mean that the army was all good and innocent how ever, as I had also been told a lot of the dark things that went on in the army, not just in the in side of all of it, as I had been told by my father, as to the fact that they raided orc villages, and also other kingdoms simply due to the fact that they had wanted to recourses that were in side of all of that, at the exact same time as well. He told me it was sickening, as to what it was that went on in all of that, but it really did not seem to sicken me all too much, and maybe that was due to the fact that I was an orc of course.
He told me that they had gone to go on raids to go and get all of the recourses from all of the other kingdoms, as well as the orc villages, that way our kingdom could be rich. That just seemed like that was the whole point of war how ever, if I was going to be honest with my self, so it did not bother me all too much about any of that at the exact same time as well. What did in fact bother me how ever, was the fact that I was going to have to go and attack, and kill a lot of my own species, which was the orc species of course, as it made me feel a bit sick as to those thoughts, as for one thing, I had never seen another orc in my life, but the fact was that the first orc that I was going to see, was also going to be the first orc that I would have to kill.
I began to breath in quite a bit heavy, as I blinked my eyes, all at the exact same time as well, as I did my best to get my focus off of all of that, all at the exact same time as well, as I felt like my focus just needed to be more on the fact that I knew that I needed to be ready for what it was that I was about to do tomorrow, just as the army men had come to tell me about. Yes... They had in fact been a little bit afraid of me at first, even if they had heard my name before, and knew just who it was that I was in the very first place any ways, but that still did not mean that they were not going to be scared of me, which I really did not blame them for at the exact same time as well.
I had kind of faced the reality at this point, that people were going to naturally be afraid of me, if they were to see a door open, only to see that it was a big brute of an orc that was staring at them, at the exact same time as well, never the less. I did my best to try not to get all too worried about any of that, as well as the fact that I knew that I did not need to get worked up about it. I knew that I had to control my anger, especially at a time like this, as to what it was that I was going to be getting my self in to, as I had been told by my dad.
My father knew the type of anger that I got my self in to, as I often did my best to hide that from all of my friends at the exact same time as well, which I felt like was a lot of the reason as to why they did in fact treat me as if I was some kind of normal human, which I had accepted the fact that I was not at this point, as I then dipped my head a bit low to the ground, at least, as low as I could, as I felt like I could not just stare down at the bed side for any longer, as I was just ready to fall asleep at this point, as I knew I was tired, and I knew just how hard the next day was about to be for me at the exact same time as well.
It just did not seem like my head was in the right spot, as well as the fact that it did not seem like my head wanted to help me all too much at the exact same time as well, as I felt like I should just accept defeat now, and get on with it. I knew that I was going to have a rough day tomorrow, like it or not. I sighed a bit of a heavy sigh all at the exact same time as well, as it was quite a bit loud, as I felt like perhaps my father could have heard it from down stairs, at the exact same time too. I felt like that was not the case how ever, as I was sure that my father was fast asleep at this point.
I rolled my eyes just a bit, as I then closed them shortly after that, as I kind of gave up on doing any thing else at this point. I had seen from the window, that it had been dark for quite a bit of some time, as I had turned off the candles quite a bit of some time ago, though I still had some how not fallen asleep for some odd reason or another, even though I also knew at the exact same time as well, as to just how badly I even needed the sleep in the very first place any ways. I shook my head, as I rolled around, and moved my self in the bed a bit. I knew that it had been dark out side, not just due to the fact that my eyes had bad night vision, due to the fact that I was an orc.
I let out another soft sight, once again, until I rolled my self in to what felt to be the perfect spot, and the perfect position to fall fast asleep for the night, as I then smiled a bit to my self at the exact same time as well, as I knew that I needed to keep quite a positive attitude in all of this, at the exact same time too, as I knew that of course, this was not some thing that you should view as any sort of enjoyable, but at the same time as well, I also knew that I did not come in to any of this with any sort of feeling as to the fact that I might feel miserable, as I knew that would shine through to all of the other people that were going to be with me never the less.
I nodded to my self at the exact same time as well, as I then accepted that fact at the same time too, and I then began to fall in to a bit of some rest, now that I had all of my thoughts cleared from my head, all at the exact same time too, as I was ready for this day that I was going to have tomorrow at this point, which was the perfect mind set to be in, and I knew it, as my father had been trying to teach me to be that way ever since I had been quite a bit of a young child never the less. At least if you wanted to call me a child, as I knew that most people did not, due to the fact that I was an orc.
I did my best to once again shake off all of those thoughts, all at the exact same time as well, as I then got my focus in on the fact that I needed to get my focus on the fact that I had to get some sleep before I knew that it was going to be quite a bit of a rough day tomorrow at the exact same time too. After a little bit longer, as this time, I did in fact clear my mind, and I did in fact clear out all of those thoughts for real, from out of my head, I then did in fact begin to fall in to a little bit of some deep sleep, which probably was not the best idea, due to the fact that I knew that I needed to be up early, and I needed to be ready to join the legion, and join the army tomorrow. There was not much that I could do to stop that how ever, as every thing then all of the sudden seemed to turn quite a bit blank for me at the exact same time as well.