Somber Reminiscence

CH. 27

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Song Rec. - Lovely (with Khalid) by Billie Eilish, Khalid.

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They finally came.

After ten minutes of sobbing, I heard them rushing into the room. Lemar's head still on my lap as they came in, taking him away from me as I had no strength to fight them anyways.

My knees ached as I stayed on the muddled tile of the room, ignoring the medics as they asked if I was okay.

I let them leave me there as my empty arms slumped to my sides, trying to regain some strength to stand up.

The painful bruises on my back, the cracked ribs from the shield, and the pounding headache made it difficult to even sit.

Yet despite all that physical pain, I felt nothing.

Five years was nothing for a long while until the Blip occurred, making five years be either the shortest experience or the most agonizingly longest experience.

For me though, it was the first moment of freedom, the first opportunity to have a semi-normal life as I escaped the life-long imprisonment.

In those years, I spent them with Lemar and John. Growing closer and closer to them every day, on every mission, every meeting, and every moment that I had the chance to because they were all I had.

Now I lost Lemar and I'm choosing to lose John.

Leaning over I place my palms on the grimy floor, using whatever strength I had to push myself up, my sore legs stretching out as I stood up from the ground.

I needed to get out of here, away from anything and everything.

The only place I could find sanctuary was my townhome.

So here I was, sitting on the edge of my bed, uniform still on as it had been two hours since I left.

Immediately I went to the comfort of my bed, knowing the kitchen was most likely still a mess.

Not that it mattered anyways. I couldn't stomach food, find any urge to move or clean, or any reason to do anything but sit here.

Bucky called, asking where I was, and if I was okay.

"I'm fine. At home."

Is all I could say, hanging up before he could say anything else. Allowing the phone to drop onto the ground, leaving it to buzz for about another 20 minutes until it finally stopped.

My arms slumped at my sides, my back hunched over as I sat there on the bed still.

I didn't want to do anything. Think about anything.

The only thoughts that came into mind were of Lemar. Over and over it kept playing, the same memory from years ago.

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"According to the Secretary you can't work alone, you'll need to be under supervision until further notice." The personnel explained, walking me down the long hall of the base here in Washington.

Her heels clicked as she walked, echoing in the hall as my tennis shoes remained silent with every step.

They were in the wrong though. Weren't they? Why was I the one being treated like the monster when I don't think I've done anything wrong?

It's been a few months since the whole blip thing occurred and I had to go through so many mental evaluations before my leash could be loosened.