Somber Reminiscence

CH. 22

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Song Rec. - Lean on Me by Bill Withers
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The jet ride went on for another hour, Sam occasionally teasing Bucky and me as we settled down in the jet.

"Seriously, you two are cute. Buck, can I be the best man?" His grin stayed plastered on his face as my cheeks reddened at the mention of marriage.

"Yeah, no. Sam stop." I comment quickly, shaking my head with an amused tone. 

I look over at Bucky who's returning a look of confusion. 

My smile turns crooked as I narrow my gaze at him. "Don't look at me like that."

"Really?" He replied, giving me a matched expression as we stare at each other. 

I mean I technically didn't know him very long so getting married seemed out of the picture, especially with the jobs that we had. 

I don't think unordinary people like ourselves belong in a marriage like other couples anyways.

"We're here." Zemo suddenly interrupts, turbulence shaking the jet as it goes to land, cutting short the conversation as I look up at Zemo who's standing in the doorway.

I look back over at Bucky who's eyes were seemingly still on me. 

"That's not a topic of discussion right now, okay?" 

I sit for a moment, feeling his eyes on me still as I stare at the ground, an overwhelming feeling coming over me as I stand up. 

Walking over to the door. I step in front of Zemo, uttering a quick, "excuse me." 

He quickly moves to the side as I attempt to escape to the other room.

I make my way over to the chair and sit down, letting out a huff.

The mere thought of doing something as normal as that just didn't seem right. 

As if the life we had together was cut short for a reason. 

Like we weren't meant to have an ordinary life where we grow old and die together.

I suppose it was more than that though. 

The truth is, Bucky's known me longer than I've known him considering he has more memories of us than I do. 

His mind seemed more welcome to the idea of it than mine, I mean the reaction he gave to my decline said it in itself.

"Knock knock." I pick my head up as I was hunched over on the chair, seeing Sam in the doorway. "You alright?"

He walks in as I sit back on the chair, giving him a small smile. 

"Yeah, sorry I didn't mean to walk out like that, it's just that I don't want Bucky to move things so quickly and it seemed like he was ready to marry, like today," I say honestly, hopefully knowing that Sam would listen and understand my side.

"I mean you can't blame him for wanting to pick things up where they were left off." 

I look at him with a confused look, wondering how he knew that much. 

"Yeah, he told me what happened the other night, and about your guys' history."

Right. I mean I knew they were close but I suppose it was surprising to know that Bucky talked to Sam about us like that.

"I just don't want him to have to wait forever for me to remember. I mean it could never happen to be honest." 

Sam gives me a knowing look like he was empathizing and yet still articulating what I was saying.