Loverboy || Malum

Chapter Eleven

October 2009 

C A L U M ' S P O V 

"So, will you ever be wearing one of your skirts to school?" I asked.

Michael and I were sitting in his bedroom, doing nothing. His parents weren't home and he wasn't allowed to go over to other people's houses when his parents weren't home. I didn't mind the fact we were doing nothing since I was with him. The feelings he's made me feel on the first day I saw him never did go away. They only became stronger and the more I tried to push it away, the more I felt myself get attached to him.

He did look timid and slightly scared to bring me up to his room when I said we should go there, but he still went with it. He said that we would have to be in the living room before six, though but wouldn't answer why. 

"I like being alive, so no. I won't be wearing a skirt to school, ever," he replied. I sighed. He usually never cared about what people thought of him. He always acted like he didn't give a damn around people but when we were alone and discussing things, it was so clear that he thought so badly of himself and it bothered me so much. I wanted him to feel comfortable at all times and it felt so complicated to have that happen when he acted like two completely different people in different situations.

"Why care about what they think?" I asked.

"Why not? Calum, don't you see: if one person makes fun of me and starts pushing me around like I'm some drag toy, everyone will do the same. It's a cycle and people can't help it. People make fun of those who are believed to be weaker than they are to fit in with their so called friends. And truth is, I am weaker than they are. I'm already called the Weird Kid by many for wearing my sunglasses in school. The last thing I currently need is for them to make fun of me for wearing dresses."

"If you get made fun of for wearing your glasses in school, then why wear your glasses?"

He chuckled sadly and shook his head. "It's silly," he said.

I moved closer to him, placing my hand on his lower thigh. "I won't laugh."

He shrugged. "I don't know-- I just, it just," he sighed. "It makes me feel less weak and less vulnerable. With them on, people can't see if I'm really happy or not because they can't see my eyes, and I guess that's why I wear them." He shook his head once more. "Like I said, it's stupid."

"It's not stupid," I replied almost instantly. "Why do you wear the skirts?"

"They make me feel pretty." He blushed. 

"Pretty?" I asked, smiling.

"Yeah," he said, shyly. Michael's cheeks reddened as he scooted away slightly, looking down at his feet.

"Why don't you put one of then?" I asked. Truth be told, I wanted to see him in a skirt again, badly. He just looked so happy in one; at least he did before he realised that I had walked into his room. Despite the fact I saw him smile for a split second, it was one of the widest smiles I've seen on him and it made me happy.

"Like right now?" He asked, timidly.

"Yeah." I smiled, trying to comfort him.

"I-I would, but I, I'm not wearing boxers," he said. His face was so red and he looked very embarrassed. 

"I won't look," I replied honestly, holding out my pinky. He hooked his with mine and quickly leg go, getting up with a deep breath. He looked so nervous and so scared and that was the last thing I wanted. I wanted for him to always feel comfortable with me around because that's how he made me feel, comfortable. 

I watched as Michael walked to his drawers, opening the first drawer up. He took out a pile of clothes and placed it on the top of the drawer then took out a plain black skirt. It didn't look too short, nor did it look too long. 

"Wait," I said louder than I intended to. He jumped slightly and turned around. "Can you take off your glasses, please?" I asked hopefully. It would be the first time I would see him without his glasses on. I wanted him to feel like he didn't have to worry about looking weak and vulnerable in front of me because I knew he wasn't. He nodded, and took his glasses of slowly. He looked frightened, and I wouldn't blame him for being frightened. If I was put in his position, I would be too.

"Don't look," he warned. I did as I promised and turned around. It took a lot to not turn around and look as he undressed himself, but I promised him and the last thing I wanted to do was break his trust. He meant the world to me and if I did turn around he'd be upset with me. If I wanted to try to always make Michael happy, I couldn't have him upset with me. "You can look now."

I could feel my heart beating fast and it felt like it was the only thing I could hear at the moment. I was nervous to see him in a skirt, and actually have a good look. I turned around, slowly, looking at Michael's surroundings but not him. Needless to say, I was as nervous as he was but I didn't tell him to put a skirt on for nothing.

I looked at Michael. He looked nervous and small. He was fiddling with the sleeves of his sweater, looking like a scared kitten. He was looking at me, like it was something important to him. His eyes were big and hopeful. The beat of my heart escalated as I kept moving my eyes down his body and I could feel more nervous by second. 

"So?" He squeeked.

"Wow," I breathed out. 

"Wow?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Yeah, you look really good," I said nodding, unable to say anything else. I wanted to tell him that 'pretty' was such a horrible word to call him at the moment because he didn't look pretty, he looked absolutely beautiful.

He blushed and adverted his eyes. "Thank you."

- - - 

I feel so bad for not updating for basically a month but when I posted everything before going off to Nepal. nothing actually posted. I moved houses, so I have no wifi at home but I'm babysitting so I get wifi!!! I'll be updating in the AM so it might be a double update depending on where on planet Earth you live on.

Love you guys

I really hope you all still like the story since drama actually happens in the next chapter, but I mean, you didn't hear that from me.