Loverboy || Malum

Chapter Five

M I C H A E L ' S P O V 

October 2006

Calum's been very busy with football lately. He tried out for a team outside of our school and they accepted him. The only times I do get to see him were at school, other than that, he was completely busy with football or practicing football with Luke and Ashton. They tried out with him too. They all made it on the team. Apparently Calum was the striker. I didn't know what any of that meant, but I just cheered him on because it made him happy and whatever made Calum happy, made me happy.

Although with the three of them playing football all the time, it meant I was alone more often. Mali sometimes would come and sit with me when I'm outside. She's talk to me and be nice. She always acted like she was in a whole new world. I didn't know if it scared me or not but she seemed so free and it was nice to see someone who didn't care so much about what everyone thought of them. 

Now, I was sitting with Mali outside. We were both laying on the grass. We didn't speak much, but it was okay, the silence was nice. I wanted to ask her about many things but I was so scared. I was afraid she'll judge me or hate me, or even worse, tell Calum what I asked her.

"You seem a little frustrated, Mike. Tell me what's bothering you," she said. I looked over at her and saw that she was propped on her elbows. I sighed. Even if I did want to tell her everything, I did not know how to word anything. "Is it my brother? Is he being rude to you?" She asked. I shake my head because it's the exact opposite. He's been nothing but nice to me.

"No, he's nice, so so so nice," I said to her. 

"Then what is it?" She asked.

I sighed once more. "I want to feel pretty, but I'm so afraid. I don't want anyone to hate me." I answered her question truthfully. Mali was like an older sister to me. She and I have been very close since I moved as well. She always made me feel comfortable and she always told me if Calum ever hurt me, she'll kick his ass for me. I giggled because she swore but she just smiled. 

"Why would anyone hate you?" She asked.

"Because I don't like wearing skinny jeans and t-shirts and I don't like wearing tux's and suits. I'd rather wear a skirt or a little dress any day but no one would accept that from a guy. People will hate me for it," I say sadly. I knew that from my dad. He told me everything that happened to people like me. Truth be told, I didn't know if I should be happy that he told me or dislike the fact he told me. At least then I knew what I could do but even then, I could not do what I wanted to do.

"Why do you care what other people think? Years from now, what they say will not matter. When you're happy and when you have more than what they have, what they said to you will never matter. You only get once chance to live Michael. If you don't live now, when will you live?" She said. 

I stayed silent for a minute or two, thinking of what she just said. Even though it was true, I could not live to see the day that everyone goes against me. I longed for the feeling of someone caring and I longed for the feeling of being loved by a person. Those two feelings I did not get much because I always moved and no one ever sticks around. Dad claimed that this time, we'll be staying for a long while and if we're staying, was how I felt really worth it. Because if I did tell people I wanted to feel pretty and dress up, they will go against me whereas if I stayed quiet and dressed the way I am 'meant to,' no one will ever know.

"What do you have to lose?" She asked.

"Calum," I say quietly.

"He'll love you no matter what," she responded.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Becuase I'll wallop his ass if he doesn't." She smiled.

- - - 

Short but I kinda like it. I'll be updating this book twice a week most probably, if not, once a week. All my classes are advanced so I can't make any promises, but I can promise I will try. I hope you guys like the book so far, by the way.

What do you guys think will happen later on the book? (-;