Loverboy || Malum

Chapter Twenty Three

June 2011

M I C H A E L ' S P O V (Very important authors note at the very bottom, please read)

"Calum is having a party," my boyfriend said to me. It's been a week since summer holidays. Many of the parents on our street went on a small five day camping trip or something. No teenagers were allowed.

I took the opportunity to invite Luke over, even if we never do anything very intimate. The two of us were sitting in my room, with Hedley playing in the background. Their music was different, some of their songs made you want to laugh very hard, other songs made you think about life and what life had to offer you.

"Okay," I responded blandly. I became uneasy at the thought of Calum throwing a party and I was confused as to why my boyfriend was telling me this. Luke and I had a weird relationship. We were classified as a couple, although we acted more like friends. We could cuddle, and joke around, but we hardly held hands or kissed. We spoke and acted like normal best friends and I didn't know how it made me feel.

"He wants us to go." I shook my head. My parents wouldn't allow it and I myself don't want to go either. He would most likely have a lot of people who do drugs there, and even if I don't mind some of them because I was taught not to judge, I would rather not go. It was the thought of being with so many people at once that freaked me out. I've heard about what happens in parties: people's drinks get spiked, lots of sex, touching and grinding. I didn't want that. "Please, Mike," he said desperately.

* * *

Loud music and even louder people trying to speak over the music. I didn't know why I agreed to going to the party, but I did and I definitely regretted it. It wasn't like Calum and I spoke anymore in the first place. Everyone around me was having a laugh, drinking and dancing. I felt so much discomfort though. I was standing in the corner of the room, watching everyone, trying to stay out of all their ways.

At a time like this, I partly I could drink as well since everyone else around me is doing it and mainly because I felt like a burden. Although I was always too scared to drink because one, my father would most likely slit my throat and two because I could already see the stupid things I would most likely do.

Luke and Ashton were dancing with some girls, and truth be told, it didn't hurt to see Luke dancing with a girl. It made me feel somewhat relieved because it made me realise that neither of us were in too deep.

I walked through the crowd of sweaty, dancing bodies. Some were scoffing, while others were touched my ass and said something highly perverted. I got to the kitchen after trying to squeeze through 50 or so bodies. The kitchen didn't have as many people, thankfully. There were a couple who looked like they were going to fuck on his kitchen counter and there were two guys talking to each other. I walked towards the end of the kitchen, opening the door that led to the back porch. It was empty outside; I smiled.

I leaned on the ledge of the porch, looking up at the skies. The sound of the door opening and closing slightly echoed, causing me to turn around to see Calum walked to where I was. He stood beside me, looking up. Neither of us spoke a single word.

We were standing, looking up at the skies, well he was at least. I was looking at him. We were just about the same height, I was just slightly shorter than he was. He had a beer in his hand, staring up. His eyes were twinkling, looking a bit darker than they usually do.

The blinking stars and the half moon were the main source of light but if you asked me, his eyes shone brighter than the stars.

He caught me staring at him and smirked. I felt my cheeks start to heat up, he chuckled. "Did I mention how fuckable you look at this very moment?" He asked.

"You're drunk, Calum." I replied, which was true. He was drunk, he shouldn't be saying this. I believe he still had a girlfriend, although it was rumoured that he kicked her out while having sex. Others say that they got it on and they get it on everyday. I didn't know what to believe but I definitely did hope it was not the latter. Even if he did not have a girlfriend, I had a boyfriend, who happened to be his best friend.

"And you're still beautiful, Michael. Let's just leave; you and I. No one will realise before it's too late," he said looking at me. My eyes flickered at him and I shook my head, no.

"I have a boyfriend, Calum." I stated the obvious.

"So what?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"You don't get it, do you?" I asked. I looked up at him, staring in slight disbelief. "He's good to me, he's done a lot since you decided to tell me you loved me then date some girl."

"The past is in the past, Michael. Give me another chance. I'm a lot better now," he pleaded.

"I've tried Calum. I've tried giving you so many chances, but I've lost all hope. You do this thing where you apologise then you do something stupid again. It's a cycle and I don't want to get hurt."

"I cut down to smoke one spiff a day.."

"I can't just leave," I looked back up. Everything felt crazy, and my stomach kept twisting and turning. Standing in front of me was the guy who I've been wanting for a long time. A guy who's made me feel so many funny and weird things that I have never felt towards anyone else, not even Luke, but yet I was still trying to push him away. "What about Luke? He'll get hurt."

"What about me, Michael? Do you think it doesn't hurt seeing you with him?" He sounded annoyed, desperate. I wouldn't blame him. I understood where he was coming from, we were always like this. The day I met Calum, we clicked. We've spent almost every single day of our lives together after we met, up until the past couple of months.

"He's your best friend, Calum. He'll get hurt."

"But I love you more than he does, can you not see that?"

I stayed quiet and looked up. I did see it. I knew what he was on about. It was obvious that he liked me, he never wanted to hide it. It was clear he would scream it from the top of his lungs if I have him the chance to, but I never gave him the chance, so he doesn't.

Calum huffed and looked back up at the skies. I don't blame him for being annoyed one bit. I was never the easiest person to get along with, I have a bad habit of making things too complicated for everyone's good.

After a minute or two of silence, I decided to break it. I kept my stare at the skies, though. "I love you more too, you know?"

"Then why are we doing this to ourselves?" He sounded so tired when asking the question. I wouldn't blame him either. It was all very tiring, me hurting him, him hurting me. It was a continuous cycle.

"I don't know," I whispered.

"It could just be the two of us, no one in between, Mike. So why are you with him?"

"He's not afraid to love me. He's not afraid to kiss me."

He scoffed. "I'm not afraid to do either, as well!" He sounded very offended.

"Is that why you decided to go out with the girl instead of trying to get me?"

- - -

((If you read Vegas before I unpublished it, you might recognise this scene.))

Very important message: This week and next week will be the last weeks I will update until after the 17th/18th! I'll be having exams from the 8th to the 18th and for each subject I will be having two exams. So I'm trying to upload the chapters I have written up before hand so you guys have something to read.

Have you guys got an idea of what you study in uni? I'm thinking either criminology or a pharmacology.