Dear Evalynn Hansen

THREE

Seventh period Evalynn had free so she made her way to the computer lab. After talking to her mom and assuring her she'll have Evan drop her off at therapy or just ride the bus, she got out her laptop to write what her therapist calls a "pep talk." A letter to herself that's supposed to make her feel better.

Dear Evalynn Hansen:

It turns out, this wasn't an amazing day after all. This isn't going to be an amazing week or an amazing year. Because...why would it be?

Oh I know. Because there's Connor. And all my hope is pinned on Connor who I don't know and who doesn't know me. And besides that, I mean, it's Connor Murphy. The school freak. But maybe if I did. Maybe if I could just talk to him, then maybe...maybe nothing would be different at all.

I wish that everything was different. I wish that I was a part of...something. I wish that anything I said...mattered to anyone. I mean, face it: would anybody notice if I disappeared tomorrow?

Sincerely, you're best and most dearest friend,

Me.

She sent it to the printer and shut the laptop, then jumped as someone spoke.

"I'm sorry about earlier. So. What happened to your arm?"

Turning, she came face to face with Connor Murphy and her heart skipped a beat as she formulated a response.

"Oh, I um, I fell out of a tree actually."

"You fell out of a tree? That is just the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard. Oh my God," he laughed.

"I know," Evalynn laughed along awkwardly.

"No one's signed your cast."

"No, I know."

"I'll sign it," he said.

"Oh. Um...you don't have to," Evalynn said quickly.

"Do you have a sharpie?"

There's a pause before Evalynn pulled the sharpie out of her back pocket and handed it over. Connor uncapped it, then pulled her casted arm closer to him.

"Ow," Evalynn said, and he paused, pen hovering in the air before signing his name in all caps, covering an entire side of the cast.

"Oh. Great. Thanks," Evalynn stared at the name.

"Now we can both pretend we have friends."

"Good point," she took the sharpie back, making for the door.

"Is this yours? I found it on the printer. 'Dear Evalynn Hansen.' That's your name, right?"

Evalynn felt a surge of fear upon seeing the paper in his outstretched hand and went to grab it.

"Oh that's just a stupid, it's a paper I had to write for a, um, for an assignment..."

Connor's eyes glanced down at the page briefly.

"'Because there's Connor.' Is this about me?"

"No. Not at all."

"You wrote this because you knew I would find it."

"What?"

"You saw I was the only other person in the computer lab, so you wrote this and you printed it out, so that I would find it."

Connor was getting angry, and Evalynn just wanted the letter back and to pretend the incident hadn't happened.

"Why would I do that?" she asked.

"So I would read some creepy shit you wrote about me and freak out, right? And then you can tell everyone that I'm crazy, right?"

"No. Wait. I don't even, what?"

"Fuck you!" Connor shouted, storming out.

"But I really, I need that back. Please. Can you just, can you please give it back?" Evalynn yelled after him.

She hurried out into the hall, but both Connor and the letter had disappeared. Fear gripped her, and she felt a panic attack starting as she stood in the deserted hallway. Once she had calmed herself down, she headed to the parking lot and waited by her brother's car to ask for a ride to therapy.