Silver & Gold (Scomiche)

Shadow

Days went by, and every sunset took with it another bit of the hope Scott had been clinging to so desperately.  He had had Avi’s car towed to his garage, just telling his parents that it had broken down. He had texted Esther that Avi had flown to Ireland to meet with a potential backer for the bar and also to get a taste for the local beer and maybe find something special for Draconem.  He'd made sure to throw in that he was worried about international calling fees so she wouldn't hear from him unless it was an emergency.

Thankfully she’d bought it… at least for the time being.  

All in all, it was a mess covering for Avi, but at least it kept his mind busy.   When left to his own devices, his mind ran rampant with theories and too many what ifs.  What if Mitch had actually chosen his world and his family over him? What if Avi had chosen his absolute dream world and a beautiful girl over his home and family and friends?

What if he had lost the only man he’d ever loved and ever would love as well as his best friend all at the same time? Could two of the most important people in his life really abandon him that easily? Was he really that insignificant to them?

Well, that led to a lot of half-baked ice cream and Netflix binge watching.

He tried to steer his thoughts back to other options. What if something had happened and now Mitch just couldn’t get back to him.  What if Avi had somehow gotten trapped there?

But was that option any better? If they were trapped, then the chances of seeing either ever again were slim. What would he do? What would he tell Avi’s family? What would he do with his business?

What would he do with a baby friggin dragon!?

What was he going to do when Sarah got bigger? HOW big was she going to get? Hiding a little tiny dragon is one thing, a full sized fire breathing dinosaur is another. He’d seen Jurassic Park…

“Saaaarrrraaaahhhhhhhhh.” He’d lost track of the little animal… creature… thing.  She had been like a shadow, always a step or two behind him or draped across his shoulders or mostly cuddled in his lap like a lap cat, but currently she was nowhere to be found … and that worried him.

When he finally found her in the laundry room and saw the pile of clothes she was laying on, he nearly broke down. They were Mitch’s paint covered clothes that he’d left behind after their last day together.

He had cried so many tears in the past few days that he wondered how there could be any more left inside of him.  No matter how many ‘other fish in the sea’ articles he read or ‘it gets better’ Tumblr posts he came across, he couldn’t ever imagine belonging to anyone else.

Mitch was his one.  

He’d found him, he’d loved him and he’d lost him.

As he fell to his knees, he wished his heart was made of stone instead of this fragile tortured thing inside of him.  Maybe then it wouldn’t hurt so badly. How many more days would he spend in isolation? How many more days would he visit the clearing… hoping against hope that his love would come back to him?  How many more days could he survive like this?

How do people with broken hearts move on?

There was no moving on from this.  There was no ‘time heals everything’ proverb that would make it better.  Mitch had been wrong when he said humans could love more than once.  There was nothing left for him. His heart was done and now that it had lost its purpose, he wasn’t sure what there was to wake up for. Pain? Suffering?  

A nose nudged at his arm as Sarah propped up on his legs to rub her face over his chin stubble. She understood him; she knew that heartache, and somehow her wordless comfort still made a difference.