Silver & Gold (Scomiche)

Red

“I don’t want you to go.” Scott held onto his hand, just hoping to keep him for as long as possible.

“Scott…” Mitch’s eyes were still golden, but silver flecks danced there along the outer rim.

“Come back home with me.”

Mitch really didn’t want to leave him. The last few hours had been both perfect and heartbreaking. There were so many things going on in his head, so many decisions to to be made, but Scott was a master at distracting him…  first at the studio… then in the shower as they cleaned the paint from their skin… and then in the sinfully comfortable bed that Scott had held him so close in..  He really wanted to go back with him. He wanted to hear the sweet words of endearment Scott whispered into his ear again, to feel his heart beat against him, to feel safe and warm in those arms, but he knew he couldn’t….   shouldn’t. He needed time to think. He needed to sort out this unexpected turn of events and he couldn’t do that with Scott so close.

“I am sorry. You know I cannot.”

Scott released a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I just got you back. I’ve spent years with this… hole in my heart and I finally get you back …” His eyes stared into Mitch’s as he tried to be ok with the situation, to trust Mitch and his needs,  but he just couldn’t find it within himself to let him go. “I finally get you back and all you want to do is leave me again.” 

“I love you.” It was the only response he could come up with. Scott’s pain was also his own. He’d mourned for so long and walking away now was not a decision he was taking lightly. 

“Then why are you doing this!?” Scott pleaded.

“Because I must! It is not a simple decision, Scott. We have known this day would come. You knew my standing and I knew your human limits. We ignored the limitations that come with being who we are simply because all we could see was each other. We were young, naive … but now we must face many truths we previously disregarded because it is necessary.  It is not only our hearts at stake.”

Scott knew he was right. He knew he was being selfish, but years of feeling like he was incomplete, like he was losing his mind…   like he was broken…   it was too soon to forget all of that; it was too soon to let Mitch out of his sight.

“It’s too soon. Just give us tonight, please. Stay with me.”  

“I am sorry. I need to think. I will be back tomorrow.”

“Mitch-”

“No. I must go.” He didn’t mean to be cold, but he had to remain steady in his resolve or he would crack and they would end up in the same mess all over again until he let go.

“Can’t I go with you?”

“I need space..  isolation. Please understand.”

Scott looked away, hurt and afraid… confused and upset. He wanted to toss Mitch over his shoulder and carry him back to his car, but Mitch was far more spry than he and what good would it do him anyway.

“You’ll come back?”

“I swear it.”

“10 AM tomorrow morning? You still have the watch?” He stared into his eyes, not sure what he was going to do with himself until then.

“I will be here. I promise, Scott." 

“And you’ll at least try to think of something? You won’t just say it’s impossible and come here tomorrow just to break my heart?” 

“Of course I will try. I do not want to be without you, but I must think on this. I must do what is right.

Scott knew he was crying, but didn’t care. This was killing him and he wanted Mitch to know it. “I love you.”