Warriors Constant Enemy (Montero Series 2)

01

Mistake.

It is not a mistake to make a mistake,but it's a mistake to repeat the same mistake.

I always put that qoute in my mind, that's a reminder for myself.

But some people think that I am the mistake itself. Well,I cannot blame them because I am the fruit of my parent's mistake.

Growing up piling all the blame on me. I still can't understand people around why they keep on throwing those words. No one accepted me for existing...even my father. But he doesn't had a choice,so,he accepted me because no one does.

He's the only one who were there while growing up. Aside from him, I have no one but myself.

Hindi ako kilala ng pamilya ng nanay ko,she hide me from everyone because she have her own family. Hindi rin ako tanggap ng pamilya ng tatay ko dahil ganoon din siya,may sariling pamilya. Sad,right? But that's the perks of being me. Sino ba naman ang tatanggap sa akin? Isa akong bunga ng pagkakamali.

Noon, iniiyakan ko 'yon,hindi ko matanggap ang katotohanan na ako ang rason kung bakit muntik ng masira ang panilya ng mga magulang ko. But now, I slowly understand the situation but I still try to understand them. I need and have to.

I am the reason why my father's family almost got broken. I am the reason why my two other siblings almost lost their father. Ako ang dahilan ng lahat kung bakit ang maganda at maayos na pamilya nila at unti-unting nabubuwag.

Everyone around me. . . sees me as a mistake. Hindi ko 'yan maintindihan noon pero habang tumatanda at lumilipas ang panahon... Unti unti ko nang tinatanggap ang katotohanan.

The truth that hurts me almost everyday,the truth that made me want to disappear in this cruel world.

Mistake that my parents did but I am the one suffering the consequences. Pagkakamali na kahit anong pilit ayusin,kahit anong pilit buohin ay hinding-hindi na maibabalik pa sa dati.

I can't blame my family, lalo na ang pamilya ni Papa dahil alam ko. . . na hindi lang ako ang nahihirapan. I saw how my stepmother begged him to stay. I saw how she knelt down and plead papa to not leave them. I saw my two older brothers anger while looking at their mom crying.

Papa will choose me if his family will not accept me. He  is ready to run away with me than to stay with them. Hindi ako tanggap ng asawa niya kaya sigurado akong ganoon din ng mga kapatid ko.

Who would love to have a bastard sister,anyway?

Wala!

I was the one who stopped Papa, ayaw kong piliin niya ako. Ayaw kong dagdagan pa ang pagkakamali niya sa pamilya niya. Kaya kong isakripisyo ang kalayaan ko para lang mananatili silang buo. Kaya nakisama ako sa kanila kahit ramdam ko ang pagka disgusto ng lahat sa akin. Kahit pa pakiramdam ko ang sikip-sikip ng mansyon kahit sobrang laki naman nito.

I don't have a choice but to stay, para sa mga kapatid ko. Para kahit papaano ay makabawi ako sa mga kasalanang nagawa ng mga magulang ko. Hindi ko man sila nakakausap, at nakakasama palagi pero sigurado akong mahal ko sila.

Pero habang tumatagal ay napipigtas din pala ang pasensya at pag-iintindi. Hindi ko pala kaya na tiisin pa ang hirap na kasama sila. Hirap,dahil ramdam ko yung pagiging mag-isa kahit may kasama. Ramdam ko yung pagka disgusto nila na nandoon ako. Pakiramdam ko,kahit malawak at malaki ang bahay na 'yon, sobrang sikip parin para sa akin. Hindi ako nararapat doon, hindi ako bahagi ng pamilyang 'yon.

Kaya,umalis ako. Tumakas at nagpakalayo-layo.

Away from them,away from the people who hurt me unintentionally. Away from the life I don't deserve to have. Away from everyone who doesn't want me.