Greys Anatomy One Shots

Hidden [TW: OD] (Amelia & you, wlw)

"Hey, I'm here now. I was in surgery. What's up?" Amelia joined Meredith having received a page from her. "Really? You paged my girlfriend?" Y/N raised an eyebrow. Amelia did a double take, realising it was you on the bed. "So you can speak." Meredith replied in a sarky tone. "She would have killed me if I didn't page her, plus you're worrying me Y/N. Doing this isn't like you." "What isn't like her?" Your girlfriend asked, looking at her sister. "Well?" Amelia turned to you when Meredith didn't answer. "She's not likely to talk about it, here, you can see for yourself." Meredith told Amelia, handing her your chart. "You OD'd?" The neurosurgeon read the writing in shock, suddenly taking notice of the drip in your arm. "I'll leave you two to talk." Meredith left and you sighed. "Thanks a lot Meredith!" You yelled out in annoyance at being tattled on. "You're welcome!" Meredith called back with a hand in the air, not bothering to turn around. Amelia put your chart back and pulled the curtain around you both, giving you privacy."I don't know what to say." She started. "I mean..why?" Amelia sat down on the bed, a concerned look on her face. "What happened?" "I'm fine." You said, hoping your girlfriend wouldn't push you, but Amelia's look switched to a stern one. "Tell that to your body cause seriously you've looked better." "Thanks." You deadpanned. "Look this defensive attitude may work on Meredith but it won't work on me. I know you too well." You avoided Amelia's eyes, a mix of shame and the fact she was right. "Come on, you can talk to me." "No I can't, you'll call psych." Amelia looked pensive before she asked you a question. "Will you be honest with me if I promise not to call psych? Not just about the OD, about everything that's going on that led up to this." You swallowed the lump in your throat, holding out your pinky. That's how you and Amelia made your promises, a simple method but a serious act. As if her touch linking your fingers was enough to break down a wall you felt your eyes start to water. That was it then, a dam of tears followed with uncontrollable sobs escaping your mouth. "Oh crap, it's okay c'mere." Amelia moved closer and held you tightly, kissing your temple. "You're okay, I got you." She could feel you clenching her white coat in her fists and your tears against her neck and it broke her heart. Amelia was admittedly confused, as far as she knew everything was fine. Then again, she had been working a lot lately..maybe it wasn't fine and she just didn't see the signs. You lived together but these days Amelia barely got home and when she did she would go straight to sleep since she was always so tired from work. "I'm sorry." You whimpered. Amelia shook her head and moved the hair blocking your face to look at you. "What are you sorry for?" "This..everything. I didn't know how to talk about it, I didn't want you to think I was weak." "Weak? Are you kidding? You're one of the strongest people I have ever known. I'm sorry, I should have been around more. Maybe I'd have seen something was wrong before it got this far." You shook your head in dismissal. "You weren't to know, I hid it." "You do hide things well when you really want to, not that it excuses me missing this." Amelia sighed. She didn't pull away from holding you, partly to give you comfort, and partly because she was scared to let you go. She just wanted to keep you safe, she felt she had failed at doing that lately. "I love you so much Y/N." Amelia said with tears in her eyes. "I love you too." "And you can talk to me. Anytime. It doesn't matter if I'm tired or busy or whatever you think is a valid reason not to come and talk to me. You can always come to me, okay babygirl?" Amelia could feel you nodding into her shoulder. "I was scared to." You whimpered softly. "You don't have to ever be scared. No matter what you say or feel, whatever it is, 'cause you can tell me anything. I won't judge, I'd never judge you." "You can't know that for sure. I've done some bad things." You started to rebut her. "So have I, so has everyone. Doing something bad doesn't make you a bad person. You're a good person Y/N, I've seen so much proof of that fact. Look I know that your past isn't a pretty one, and I know you don't like to talk about it but I'm here if you ever want to, okay?" "Okay." You mumble, nestling your face in your girlfriend's neck. "Can you stay for a bit?" You asked shyly. "Of course I'm staying. As if I'd be anywhere else but here." Amelia said incredulously. "Hold on, sit up." Amelia got up on the hospital bed and laid down behind you, holding her arms out. "Now come here, I can't have cuddles by myself." You smiled slightly at how cute she was. You laid down, putting your head on your girlfriend's chest, listening to her soothing heartbeat. "I don't know what I'd do without you Y/N.." "You too." You reply softly. "I need to know something." "Mm?" "Did you mean to hurt yourself or kill yourself when you OD'd today?" Amelia asked, scared of the answer she'd receive. "I don't know..honestly I don't remember caring what the outcome was." You admitted. Amelia inhaled sharply. "Fuck I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that." You realised how Amelia must have felt at that. "Will you quit apologising to me?" Amelia said, bringing her hand up to run her fingers through your hair. "For what it's worth, I care. I care about you so much and I love you Y/N. I love you more than any words could ever express, and I'm beyond glad you're still here." You wanted to say you were too, but you wouldn't be genuine if you did. Amelia was the only good thing in your life, and you often felt she deserved better anyway. "I love you more." You settled on saying. "You should get some rest. Take a nap baby." "Will you-" "I'm not going anywhere." She promised instantly, knowing what you were going to say. You wrapped your arms around your girlfriend carefully because of the drip, burying your face in the crook of her neck. You did this both for comfort to know she was still there, and to block out the hospital's bright lights. Amelia continued to stroke your hair as you drifted to sleep, tears rolling down her cheeks at the thought she could have lost her world today. Amelia wasn't really a huge believer in God or anything, but she thanked whatever power there was Y/N was safe in her arms.