Avenged (Loki x reader)

Chapter 32 - Tears

WARNING: MENTION OF RAPE

Y/N's POV

I stare at the test as the lines slowly show up. I pray to the gods it's negative, that poor child won't be brought up properly by me.

I open my squeezed shut eyes and I wail out loud as Pepper rushes in as I am on my knees on the floor.

Her eyes turn to the test a few centimetres away from me and she brings a hand to my chin, lifting it to face her. Red-faced and glassy-eyed, I stare back with a broken gaze.

"You're going to be a mother," She says encouragingly as I lay my head on her shoulder and let out choked sobs.

"I can not do this," The tears flood out uncontrollably onto her as I separate our embrace.

I wobble up slowly and rub my eyes, "Who do I tell?"

"Anyone who you feel you should," She says, bringing her hands over mine, "Please, don't stress too much,"

"Can I eat something? I'm hungry," I smile gratefully at her as we walk back to my main room.

"Of course, I'll go make something, talk to who you want," She smiles and walks away.

I curl up in my blankets and cry. The tears cascade down. Scattered memories combine and random images play in my head. Torturous memories and years worth of pain. All flood out.

LOKI'S POV

I hear her sobs through the wall as Thor exits the room. It felt nice to relate to him on something of a similar level but her cries made the shouting even more present.

I teleport into the room to find her curled up with a blanket, crying like there's no tomorrow. I lie beside her and we swallow each other in a needing hug.

She whimpers into my chest and I let out tears too. Regret, horror and love bottled up in me spilt out beside her.

The tears and small noises of hurt make the room comfortable. The worlds fade around me and I can only feel us. Tumbled in each other's arms letting out howls of sorrow.

30 minutes pass and we're just together. In a mix of new hope, I feel her mumble something to me.

"I am truly sorry, I was scared," I say in a calmer voice.

"It's okay," She sighs, biting her tongue. She adds an inaudible few words before pausing, "Will you ever leave me?" She gulps.

I think back to the recent argument and shake my head, "No, never. I will always feel a certain degree of love for you, I promise," I assure her, stroking her hair gently.

She hesitates before mumbling something again. I begin to worry but she starts again, "How would you feel about starting a family?" She pipes up.

"What are you saying?" I continue slowly.

"How do you feel about it?" She encourages nervously.

"I would love to have children with you but you might be a little too young, I want you to live a life properly and until you are ready," I smile at her but it fails to make her too much more comfortable.

She nods to me slowly.

"What's wrong?" I furrow my brow and slide her onto my lap lovingly.

"Loki please don't be mad but how long ago did we make love?" She looks up with a slower breath.

"Uh," I think for a while before answering, "Four weeks and maybe 5 days, why?"

"Oh nothing, just asking." She smiles now as she slips off my lap and sighs, "I am off to eat," Y/N says and exits the room with a worried sick face.

I force myself up and splash myself with water before following her down ten minutes afterwards.

I watch from afar as she eats a better amount but zones our very often. Her eyes look swollen as she looks between screen of her laptop and ipad, referring to pages of Midgardian writing.

I watch her fill in the answers and type away at the keys. She seems to be shaking. Almost undetectably. What does she study again? I shake the thought off and my mind switches back to how to love her better.

Thor had held off the proposal for a week of two after Y/N's birthday to calm things down so it was a perfect time to talk to him.

That was until I stepped closer and read a single word; Rape. It then hit me. An overwhelming feeling washed over as I gulped. Tony was wrong. She remembers almost everything already.

Too soon.