Really happy that I started writing again, finally got over the stupid writer's block. xx
________
The next day
Jessie
"Is she okay?" I heard Layla ask softly from the other side of the room. I was heaving breaths and it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest.
Soda held me in his arms on the floor and he rocked us back and forth, running his fingers through my hair and whispering things into my ear as I sobbed into his chest.
"Yeah, she'll be fine. She's been havin a lot more of these lately." I heard Steve say. Their voices were faint, and I just wanted to sleep.
I don't know why I suddenly get panic attacks now. I used to get them when I was little, when my parents would hit us too much so I ran to the Curtis house and broke down for hours on end. Johnny was like that too, but he never let anybody but me and Pony see him like that. We were all he needed, anyway.
We were just all sitting around talking about nothing and Two brought up the fact that it was confirmed that Randy is back in town out of the cooler, only Griffin isn't with him. Everything went black and it's hazy from there.
"Hey, shh shh. You're gonna be okay. My girl's gonna be just fine." Soda whispered, kissing the top of my head softly.
"I love you, and I'm- sorry." I hiccuped, sniffling after. He shushed me again.
"I love you so much, you are everythin' Jess. I don't want to see you hurt. You'll be just dandy in a while." he continued.
"Come on, let's get you into bed. " he said, helping me stand up. My knees felt wobbly and I started crying even harder for no reason.
"I'll tell Rocky she's not coming to work." Darry said, picking up the phone. Soda ended up having to carry me to the room, because I could barely support my own body weight.
I glanced back at the living room, which held Darry, Addie, Pony, Layla and Steve who were sat amongst themselves.
Soda sat me down on Pony's bed and I immediately curled up into the soft blankets and pillows, gasping when I turned the wrong way and a pain shot from my stomach.
"Jesus Christ are you okay?" Soda asked, squirming around to make sure it wasn't him that caused it. I nodded, even though I wasn't okay.
He looked at me with a look that said he knew I was lying. I shook my head.
"No, I'm not okay anymore Soda." I cried, my voice more like a squeak. His bottom lip quivered and his eyes started tearing up after a moment.
"I wish I could make it all better. It's killin' me to see you so sad I just- I'm sorry I'm not bein' the best support right now." he said, grabbing one of my hands in both of his.
"You're tryin, that's all I can ask for." I whispered, forcing a fake smile to my face. He wiped away the last tear that escaped my eye, and smiled.
"God, you're so beautiful." He said, his voice sounded exasperated. He sniffled, and took his hands away to wipe his eyes. How am I beautiful with my hair a mess, my face most likely as white as a ghost and deep, dark bags under my eyes? I would never know.
It was quiet and he just stared at me for what seemed the longest time. I felt like I was on our very first date, when I took him to my house to meet my dad after and we both looked at each other and laughed away when I brought up how funny his reaction was to the bottle being thrown at him. I began to feel myself calming down, my breathing was steady now.
"We're gonna have a family Soda." I said, my voice still weak.
"Someday I know, I can't wait." he smiled, crawling to my side and laying down on the bed beside me.
"No," I sniffled. "We're actually going to have a family. I'm pregnant, Soda." I said.
He slightly pushed himself off of me, a look of disbelief in his eyes.
"Wait, are you serious ?! You're gonna be a mom! And I- I'm gonna be a dad? Holy- I'm gonna be a dad." he rambled, stuttering on most of it. I could tell he was excited, and my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest- in a good way this time.
I sighed as I sat up, and watched as Soda ran into the living room and announced proudly what I just told him. They all cheered loudly, even though Addie already knew. It was nice to have support, a real family.
"Wait 'till I tell Pony! And Dally, and Carter and Rocky and Jesus Christ is this really happening?!" He asked, as he ran back into the room. I nodded in a silent reply.
"I can't believe it." he finally said, sighing as he sat down heavily at the end of the bed.
"This is amazing. I love you, I love you Jessie Cade." He repeated. I smiled brightly at him this time, just taking in all his features and his personality. He radiated love, and I knew that it wasn't a mistake, no matter what other people might say.
a few days later
"This baby stuff is confusing." Soda said, throwing a bag of diapers into the basket. Melly stared at him like he was crazy.
"At least we won't be completely clueless, helping take care of Melly should help a bit." I replied, inspecting some bottles of baby shampoo.
We were currently running errands for Addie since she was too tired and Darry was busy at work. Right now we're in the infant section of the store, and nearly had no idea what we were buying exactly. It's a good thing she gave us a list.
"What's this?" Soda asked, holding up a box of formula. I rolled my eyes at him.
"You really need to step up your game if we're gonna have a baby, Soda. Melly's too old for that now." I said, snatching the box and putting it back on the shelf.
"Well excuse me princess." he said sarcastically, and I continued to walk with the basket in hand.
I turned back and saw Soda bending over to pick somethin up that he obviously dropped, and Melly giggled when he walked over to me, bouncing her on his waist.
"You're gonna make a great mom." I smiled, and he glared at me.
We left the infant isle, and we're finally ready to check out.
As we waited for our items to be rung up, somebody walked up to us.
"Fancy seeing you two here. And who's this cute one?" I heard, and I froze, turning around.
"Randy. How are you?" I asked, crossing my arms. I felt Soda's free hand wrap around my waist and he slightly pulled me closer. Melly started pulling on my hair.
"I'm doing just fine Jessica. She yours?" he asked. I shook my head.
"Why you in the North side anyway?" Soda butted in, and Randy looked directly at him.
"I have sources, they knew you were out at the shops today."
"Who told you?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.
"Let's just say I'm fairly local. I know things that you wouldn't even think had gotten around town." he said curtly, and it was time to pay for our groceries.
As we exited the store, I glanced back at Randy, and he smiled at me. It was a bright one, and it seemed genuine.
"I got a weird feelin' about this, Soda." I said softly, mindlessly grasping onto his shirt sleeve.
"It's okay. You got us, he ain't gettin' nowhere near you. Not again."
YOU ARE READING
The Cades | The Outsiders
Fanfiction"We're a real tight-knit group of friends. And even though it seems lately we aren't the way we used to be, we'll always be family." Jessie Marie Cade was born into a gang of greasers. This life is all she's known. She is surrounded by her siblings...
