The Cades | The Outsiders

Chapter Seventeen

I looked around at the messy room. Lately, all this anxiety has been building up and the smallest things make me mad.

"God dammit Soda don't you know how to clean up after yourself?" I shouted, grabbing all the items off the floor.

"I'm sorry Jess, I'll remember next time.." he replied. I rolled my eyes. Again?

" You always say you're sorry Soda, are you ever really sorry? I look after you like you're a little kid and all you can say to me is sorry! It's like you don't even try any-"

"Shut up!" he interrupted. I looked at him shocked.

"Just shut up already! I try, and I try, and I try all the time but all you can do is nag about how I can never do anything right You're starting to sound like my brother!" he shouted, walking closer. I slouched a little, backing into the wall.

"Can't you see how hard I work to make you happy?! Can't you see that I'm all you have left now? In case you haven't realized, Randy fucking killed your only brother-"

He shut up abruptly the second I smacked him. I ignored the stinging on my palm. I wanted to feel bad for hitting him, but I didn't. He turned to look at me, and growled something incoherent. I just stared into his eyes. We've been arguing a lot like this lately. I'm starting to see how Soda really is when he's hurt.

"Get the hell out. Now." I said bitterly. He looked at me in disbelief. So what if this is his room, it's mine also, so I have the right to make him leave.

He waited, then turned around and stormed out, punching the wall along the way, leaving a hole in the wood. I groaned, then it turned into a shout and I slid down the wall to a sitting position on the floor.

"You Okay Jess?" I heard Pony's voice. I turned to look at him, and shook my head. Tears were threatening to spill, but I wasn't going to let them.

"It's okay, Soda's just upset about everything." he said, taking a seat beside me.

"And I'm not supposed to be? I lost my brother and almost lost two of my best friends. But yet, I'm expected to stay strong and hold everyone together. I'm just so tired of pretending like this doesn't kill me inside Pony.." I said.

"I know a guy that can help us out with this. He has no family at all. I think he'll understand." he said. I looked up at him curiously.

"Who?" I asked.

"His name is Griffin."

"Just Griffin?"

"Yup. Just Griffin. Nobody knows his last name, not even him. He was put in a home when he was real little, but he ran away. Now he gets by on the streets around here. You've probably seen him before, he's hard to miss." Ponyboy explained.

I nodded in reply, taking in his request to meet this Griffin boy.

~

"Gang, meet Griffin. Griffin, meet the gang." Ponyboy introduced us. We all waved kind of awkwardly, except for Darry, who shook his hand happily.

"Hello Griffin, so where ya from?" Darry asked. He shrugged, looking at each of us. I will admit he's really put together for a boy who lives out on the streets.

"How old are you?" I asked. Carter perked up a bit, but she sunk back into her seat at his answer.

"Goin' on nineteen." he smiled. Yup, too old for Carter, she's only sixteen, Dally would never allow it.

"And, where did you say you lived?" Soda asked sternly. I shot him a look. He's jealous, hm. Griffin shrugged again.

"Anywhere I guess. I like to travel a bit." he smiled.

"That is so cool." Carter said dreamily. I almost reached over and thumped her on the back of her head. They could both get arrested if they were to go out, plus, he wouldn't be good for her.

~

We were all sitting at the table, eating spaghetti. As always, everyone ate as if they had barely eaten for a month, but I had never seen someone eat as much as that boy.

Darry was a little shocked at how much food Griffin could fit into his skinny body, but then again he probably rarely ate a complete meal. If you were to cut him now, he would bleed spaghetti sauce everywhere.

"So uh...Griffin. Tell us more about yourself. We love to get to know a new friend." Darry smiled politely, he was always the one to start these kind of conversations.

Griffin cleared his throat, and Pony smirked to himself.

"Well for as long as I can remember I was in a foster home. They told me my parents were killed in some kind of accident. I don't really remember much about it, I just remember running away one day and nobody bothered to try and find me. So I'm on my own now, gettin' by on what I have." he said. I kind of admired him. It takes a strong person to live on practically nothing, which is what he had, and still be doing fine.

"You got a girlfriend?" Carter asked. Ponyboy gave her a weird look I used to only see him give to Layla when guys hit on her. Does he like her?

"Um..no, I don't have a girlfriend." he smiled. It got quiet again. I was tired, and annoyed, so without saying anything I cleaned off my plate and walked back to our room.

I changed into a shirt and some shorts, and covered up, facing the wall. After a while, Soda walked in and climbed in beside me. I guess he thought I was asleep, because he stared playing with my hair and whispering things.

"I'm really sorry Jess..." he said.

"I wish you would understand that I'm trying as hard as you are, and I love you so much, I just wish you would see that. " he finished, leaning forward to kiss my cheek. I shut my eyes quickly, and rolled over to cuddle into his chest. He sighed happily, and wrapped his arms around me.

"Please don't leave me."