Eleanor's POV.
we leave back to New York tomorrow and here I am stuck in Niall's car with Harry. I miss my parents but no way in hell would I offer Harry to take me there. My father would kill me! and by kill me I mean he would cut me to pieces an ship me to antartica for all I know. I think back to being eighteen, almost nineteen and being able to do what ever I please, whenever I please and they can't do shit about it! I choose Harry but I still tend to deny it at times.
"Eleanor?" He grips the back of my seat and turns to face me.
"yeah?" I answer. His eyes meet mine but I look away.
"when is the last time we went on a proper date?"
"I wouldn't know, we aren't dating!" I remark sarcastically, followed by a laugh. wait, are we?
"you're right" his mood changes drastically and a small frown takes over his face features.
I go back to looking out the window while he increases the speed and I can feel every pump he hits in the highway. He's sitting literally a foot away from me and my thoughts of him can't seem to leave my mind.
" ready to leave tomorrow morning?" I change the subject.
"I'm ready to leave now, go back to New York, back to my work. Back to you."
" back to me?"
" I think I like the New York you better?"
" the New York me that you can control?" I snap back at him.
"no.."
"yes.." I hiss.
"I don't control you!"
"you use word to manipulate me so I can do things you want me to do and half of the time we were there you were a drunk." I can't believe that just came out of my mouth. what is wrong with me.
"a drunk? I had problems I had to work on and you helped me through it! I never made you do things you didnt want to do and if anyone one is making someone do things they don't want it's you! you really think I came to see my mother? If it weren't for you I would never see her face again!" his voice comes out louder then mine and somehow I just picked a fight for no damn reason.
"why are you so pissy? is it the time of the month?" he continues.
"no!" I yell. I hate when guys say that! "I'm sorry.." I say under my breath.
"Let's just head back to Zayn and Perrie's place." I remark.
"Ok." The frown on his face is stuck still.
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Harry's POV.
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I know that I've got it all wrong. I'm reaching out to touch her voice but I'm clutching at straws. Even though her words hurt the most. I still want to hear them every day. She says let it go, but I can't let it go. I wanna believe every word that she says. For I'm so scared of losing her and I don't know what I can do about it about it.
So tell me how long love before she goes and leave me here on my own, I know it. I don't want to know who I am without her.
We reach Perrie and Zayn's home and I stay silenced as Eleanor rings the door bell. She is taken by a hug from Perrie as I awkwardly stand behind her shifting back and forth. When Zayn goes in for a hug I give him a glare but shake his hand for a change.
They kindly invite us back in and offer us food but I refuse and head up the stairs with Eleanor back to the room we have taken over a couple of days ago.
I take off my boots and shirt and lay on the bed. Eleanor closes the door and just looks at me in silence.
"Come lay with me." I tap the bed slowly.
"Ok." She gives in. The wood in the bedroom brings old, horrid memories.
"What's wrong?" She watches my face expression slowly change.
"Nothing."
"Your 'nothing' is something." She presses.
"You are going to make me tell you aren't you?" She always like to dig deeper but I don't mind telling her for some reason. She nods.
"The wood floor." I say. She looks down and wiggles her dark purple painted toe nails.
"What's with the floor?" She curiously asks. Standing infront of me still.
"Father, he cried with his fists one evening. His eyes were ablaze from all he consumed. Mother, she crawls down the stairs in the morning. She's black and blue, broken and bruised...Black and blue, broken and bruised. She crawls to her room and she screams her hardest. Lets the voices inside her head bleed into one. She hears his footsteps alone in the darkness...I can still hear the wooden floor cracking. She closes her eyes and prays for her son. But no, her son doesn't come...And no...... her son doesn't come." Tears start floading my face and I start chocking on every word but I continue as she wraps her small arms around me. "Now all I remember is reading his letter, Saying "I'm leaving," not for how long. 'Look after your mother, look after your sister.Don't make my mistakes, I know they were wrong'" I look down at her watery eyes. Her face is red and so is mine.
"Why are you crying?" I question.
"I just can't imagine what's going on in your head.. Now, as a child." She wipes her eyes but keeps the other careful wrapped around me.
"The truth just follows and festers inside. I can choose just what I remember but the truth gets lost and found by my lies." I clear my throat then dript off to sleep.
A voice is calling me as I happen to be sitting by Gemma's grave. He calls "Harry are you listening..I watched you from afar. I watched as the clouds began to part. Harry can you see my now, I've known you all my life and I worship the ground you walk upon. Harry will you never learn that a father's love must be earned or your mother need not learn. Harry I have never seen you look so afraid with your head pressed so hard against the stone.You look so alone." It's him. My father. I stand up still. I'm not afraid. I'm not weak. I won't give in or admit to anything. In fact I don't even respond.
"I'm going to give all my love to you" He comes closer and I shake my head from left to right.
"No! No!" I slutter.
"Harry are you listening, I watched it from afar. As your your life fell apart. Harry will you never learn that a father's love must be earned or your mother need not learn
how to love you" He reachs for my shoulders and shakes and all the sudden I am woken up by Eleanor shaking me from my horrid dream as she whispers "Harry it's just a dream! Snap out of it!"
" He's even in my dreams Eleanor!" why won't he just leave me be?" I breathe heavly as she hugs me.
"It' okay. Our flight is tomorrow Harry. We can go back home tomorrow." With her head against my chest, She hugs me tighter and drifts off to sleep. All I can do is try to chase the bad dream away by thinking of Eleanor and I back in New York.
