nyctophilia | dreamwastaken

just you

TW: mentions of drugging, sa, and a panic attack

3 DAYS LATER...

FRIDAY:

"So he's been arrested?" I ask, watching as Niki nods, giving me a soothing look. "They arrested him this morning and they're holding him in custody." I snort, glancing away. "That piece of shit deserved to get arrested." Niki leans forward and holds my hands, her face feigning worry. "y/n, are you sure you're okay? This isn't too stressful?"

I shake my head no, and I smile. "Want to get donuts?" Niki lets out a laugh, pulling back. "That's what's on your mind right now?" I nod, giving her a toothy grin. "Can we please get donuts?" I pout, and Niki kisses the top of my forehead. "I'll go get them, you stay here. It's going to rain soon."

I look out the windows, seeing the dark clouds. "I don't think you should be driving in the rain," I remark, raising an eyebrow. Niki laughs again, getting her keys. "You still remember?" I nod, and Niki smiles. "It won't take that long, okay?" Then, before she opens her door, she rears back. "Oh, I just remembered, I have to pick up some cat food for Cinder, so I'll have to go to the grocery store too."

I nod, waving her off. "Off you go now," I say, and Niki raises an eyebrow. "In a hurry to get me out, huh? Expecting someone?" I laugh, shaking my head,  and Niki waves once more before leaving. As soon as the door shuts, I watch her hurry to the car before she backs out, the gate closing behind her. I wait a moment, then two, before I break down.

Sobs and tears flow out of me, my body shaking uncontrollably. My hands fly to my face as I slowly sink into the ground, my eyes squeezed shut. How can one night completely change me? I knew I shouldn't have drunk alcohol, it was a dumb idea. Why did I accept a drink from him? Why did I have to talk to him?

I curl myself up in a ball, trying to comfort myself. A pit in my stomach grows larger and larger, unable to control itself. My chest is trying so desperately to breathe in more air, but it only causes me to hyperventilate. I hate you, Blake. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.

I clench my fists, feeling my nails dig into the palm of my hands. To make matters worse, my anxiety has made an appearance, and I bite my tongue harshly. My heart starts to beat fast, my head starts to spin, and I can feel myself sweating. I open my eyes, but I can't see anything.

My vision is blurred, and a wave of nausea spreads throughout me. Invisible hands grab for me, their arms reaching out greedily. I crawl towards the kitchen, my breaths labored and my heartbeat thudding too loudly in my ears. Thud. Thud. Thud. 

"Sara..." A voice whispers in my ear, and I duck away. "Let me feel..." "You're so gorgeous..." "Pretty little thing..." "Perfect..." I whimper, ducking away from the invisible hands, their voices echoing in my head. "Sara, Sara, Sara..."

"I'm not fucking Sara," I whisper, reaching up for the counter. I pull myself up, groaning at the wave of nausea that overcomes me. I reach for my anxiety medicine, which I hadn't taken in a long time. I try to open the lid, but I can't.

My hand slips, and I let out a tense breath, trying to block out the voices that are mocking me. A creak enters my ears, but I ignore it, mistaking it for something else. "Hey, are you okay?" A voice faintly travels to my ears, but I don't turn around. Just another voice, just another voice.

A pair of hands land on my shoulders, and I yelp, turning around. I scramble backward, falling onto my butt. "Stop," I shout, although my voice sounds far away as if I'm listening to it through an old television. "y/n, I'm here to-." "I'm not Sara!" I interrupt, my vision wavering, my eyes trying to focus on the person in front of me.