ˢʰᵉᵇᵃ ᵒʰ, ˢʰᵉᵇᵃ
ᵍⁱʳˡ ʸᵒᵘ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵐᵉ ᵃ ˢⁱⁿⁿᵉʳ
ˢⁱⁿⁿᵉʳ - ᵃᵈᵉᵏᵘⁿˡᵉ ᵍᵒˡᵈ
Oᴍɴɪsᴄɪᴇɴᴛ
The silence was deafening.
The tension clouding every space in the room so thick, it could be cut with a butter knife.
Words, questions, dying to be asked remained just thoughts as the two of them stared into the empty darkness of the room.
Eventually, the soft pitter-patter of the impending storm could be heard from right outside the window and yet still, not a word was said.
Alaina wasn't stupid.
She knew he had done something wrong. Something he would regret.
She could feel it in the way his arm tensed around her. The way he had all but refused to meet her gaze since he got back. The way he had cried even though their argument was trivial and insignificant.
She just knew his actions would come back to bite her in the ass. She had told him once before that any decision he made, he made for the two of them. She just hoped he actually remembered that.
And when he turned away from her to face the other side of the room, it had confirmed all her suspicions.
Normally, that particular action would have easily been overlooked by her but judging from all that had happened that night, she knew something was up.
He had once mentioned that he liked to look at her while she slept because the faces she made were adorable but now he wasn't even holding her.
Scratch that, he hadn't even kissed her goodnight like he did every other night.
She could just feel it in her guts that something was off.
She just hoped it was all nothing but post-argument paranoia.
-
Wayne's breaths came out evenly, almost in sync with hers. Any other day, he would have gladly given in to her touch and melted right beside her.
Just not tonight.
Or any other night after that.
He couldn't bring himself to act like everything was fine. It was not. He had messed up and the guilt was eating him alive.
He wished he could turn back the hands of time. Wished he had never left her at home all alone. Wished he had never even started the argument.
If wishes were horses, he was sure his would have been the finest in the stables.
But it was all nothing but just that.
Wishful thinking, that is.
He had started the argument. He had left her all alone at home. He had betrayed her trust.
And he couldn't turn back the hands of time.
He couldn't fix it.
A selfish part of him wanted to turn around and blame Vanessa for the whole thing. But he knew he had as much a part to play in this as she did.
Maybe even more.
The screen of his phone lit up, illuminating the dark room just a tad bit, the familiar ping indicating he had gotten a notification.
He didn't check it.
He didn't want to.
The light shower outside had turned into a full-blown thunderstorm over time and he thought that the weather depicted exactly how he felt inside.
He knew this was coming.
He had been warned actually.
Beware of the one who comes to take everything you have.
Funny how he was so paranoid about losing her when the only one he should have been worried about was himself.
And when an unusually bright thunderbolt rippled through the sky, the crackling sound echoing a few moments later, and he felt her slightly squirm beside him, he felt his heart fall deeper into his stomach.
What in the world had he done?
How would he even begin to tell her?
What would he even say?
Hey Lay remember how I was so paranoid about Vanessa and everything? Well the funny thing is that after our argument, I went over to hers and possibly made the biggest mistake of my life and had sexual relations with her but I'm really sorry and I love you with everything in me so could you, for the sake of our undying love, put everything behind us and forgive me?
Fucking pathetic.
There was no way he was saying that.
-
Lying beside him was a very much awake Alaina. Her heart ached as she looked outside the window at the downpour, the sound of the rain becoming heavier and louder with every passing minute.
She couldn't possibly sleep, not with the one hundred and one million thoughts swirling around in her head.
Was he uncomfortable?
Was he still upset with her?
Did she do anything wrong?
Was she overthinking?
She wasn't sure of anything anymore.
-
Just like the two lovebirds who had a lot going on in their very own heads that was stopping them from sleeping, so did Vanessa.
She felt bad. Dirty. Horrible.
Alaina had been nothing but nice to her, spending time with her and genuinely trying to bond with her.
She felt guilty. Extremely guilty. She should've tried harder to push him away.
She felt tears prick at the corner of her eyes.
She hated herself at the moment.
She had taken a shower, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get that figurative layer of dirt off her skin. She had scrubbed hard till her skin was a tinge of red but nothing worked.
And she couldn't stop herself from replaying the events over and over in her head like a broken record.
She wanted to tell Alaina.
She wanted to just call her and tell her everything.
Maybe that would get rid of the burning feeling of tightness in her chest.
But she knew she had to wait for Roddy to tell her in his own time.
And even if he didn't want to, she would convince him because it was better she heard it from him than from anybody else.
At least it would soften the blow of the news of his infidelity.
She hoped.
If only she had not listened to Cass and had gone when she wanted to, maybe this would have all been avoided.
Just maybe.
-
It wasn't until the sun was peaking from the horizon, did the duo finally let their restless minds simmer down at ease and give into nature, falling into a dark dreamless state, an unnatural, cold space in between the two of them.
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don't hate me tho.
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thanks
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