𝙁𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙎𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧

1

Exulansis; The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because others are unable to relate to it.

✮*•̩̩͙✧•̩̩͙*˚✧*˚　　˚*✧˚*•̩̩͙✧•̩̩͙*˚✮

Life is like a game.

You either play it or you don't.

It can be a game, if you really want to play. There is a board game called life.

I wouldn't recommend though, it sugarcoats everything.

In the game it shows how you can grow up, go to college or choose a career path, make money, find a girlfriend or boyfriend, get married, have a family, and retire.

They don't tell you, the family trauma, the imperfect family, the mental illnesses, the ability to go into debt, and feeling the need to not even finish school comes along with it.

They don't tell you that your first girlfriend or boyfriend, won't always last.

You will go through heartbreak.

You will go through loss.

You will go through trauma.

And if you don't, I envy you.

So if you want the easy way, play the board game. If you want reality, play real life.

Some don't make it either. So much shit happens to them that they feel the need to leave. That the only way they can escape the pain, loss, heartbreak, and trauma is by leaving.

I don't think they are selfish for that, they played their game long enough.

Not everyone can win.

Understandably, I don't think I will win and I'm okay with that. Others deserve it more than me.

You know when someone says "Don't go, everyone is on this earth for a reason!" I feel like it's total bullshit. Or the "You're the main character, you can't die."

I don't know what type of shit they read or watch but it seems to be all fairy tail.

Many main characters die.

Many have no reason.

It's almost like you are here, on this world to just fill a space, you aren't the main character, you aren't a side character. You are just here. You go through the circle of life with no importance to just die.

Blunt, I know.

But you don't get through life thinking it's all sunshine and rainbows and when you tell people that, they don't like you.

You're too cruel for this world, you bring other people down, they say.

I'm not too cruel for this world, the world is too cruel for you.

I'm just warning you.

I never liked sunshine and rainbows anyway. Too bright, too colorful, too happy.

It wasn't my sense of scenery.

I was the kid who liked the dark clouds, the rain pouring down on you, the wind that would blow your hair around.

I liked that more.

It was cooler, darker, calmer in a sense. It felt more peaceful.

Comforting in a way.

Maybe that's why people didn't like me. I didn't like the same thing everyone else did.

But it's so simple. No colors. No brightness to hurt your eyes. It isn't too hot or too cold. It's simple.