𝙁𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙎𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧

36

Nullity; The state of nonexistence.

✮*•̩̩͙✧•̩̩͙*˚✧*˚　　˚*✧˚*•̩̩͙✧•̩̩͙*˚✮

A world can feel so dull, so plain, even with over seven billion people in it. That's the thing about depression, it slowly creeps in and takes over.

They say to surround yourself with the right people and you won't feel so alone.

You won't feel so numb.

But as it slowly progresses, it gets to the point where nothing and no one can stop you from feeling like absolute and utter shit.

Deep down, I'm glad we're all at my house for Thanksgiving. I'm glad that these people are my friends.

I'm glad they're here.

But it doesn't much matter anymore when my thoughts take over and make it all seem useless.

"Ivy!" A voice says in my ear along with a nudge. I blink a few times to come out of a sort of trance I was in and hum in response.

"You okay?" River asks softly, gazing down at me with a concerned look.

He's just so perfect.

"Yeah, just tired." I'm not exactly lying, but no amount of sleep I could ever gain would be able to cure this never ending feeling of numbness.

I glance back down to the plate in front of me and out of my peripheral vision I see him still looking at me.

I know he doesn't believe me, but he takes my answer anyway and faces his food again.

Chatter. Clinking glass. Chatter. Clinking glass.

I realize I'm not even hungry anymore.

Rivers left hand is just resting on top of the table so I grab it and intertwine our fingers together, resting our hands in my lap.

He continues eating but squeezes my hand in an act of reassurance and I return it.

Once we're all done eating and help my mom clean up the dishes, we make our way to the living room.

"Game or movie?" Finn asks.

"Movie." Kat cuts in. Surprisingly we are all able to agree on a movie as well so now we don't have to waste time on voting.

Everyone is getting the blankets, snacks, and anything else needed for the movie night we're doing. Everyone voted Aspen to pick the movie for some odd reason because sometimes I question if that man watches anything at all.

And not surprisingly he chose grown ups.

Don't get me wrong, it's a good movie, but really?

I sit on the right side of the couch on the very end with River next to me as we share a blanket. Finn, Layla, and Kat fit on the rest of the couch where Aspen and Beah are sitting on the other small couch to the right of me.

My mom brings in all the snacks and popcorn and makes her way to the recliner on the left side of the couch I'm on.

Once everyone is settled in, Aspen presses play.