Lovestruck

Afternoon

"You sure you don't want to disown me?"

"I could never do such a thing. You're my son, no matter what. I love you know matter what."

"Thanks Mom."

"Jack is a sweet boy."

"I just figured if I was going to be gay Jack should be the last person you want me to be with, since, you know, his dad and you..."

"I think since his father is, well, his father then I'd like it if you were with him more. Winnie was like a sister and Jack was, you know. So, maybe I can picture him like my own son, too."

I smiled. "You're the best mom in the world."

"I don't know about that."

"At least you don't kill me whenever I come home drunk."

"I don't mind."

"You don't mind anything do you? You're just neutral on everything."

"Yeah, I am. I'm on the middle path, and there are philosophies that state if you're on the middle path of your life then it means you're ready to leave. It's a human thing."

"But we love humans."

She smiled down at me. "Yes. We do. And I love you, too."

"I love you, too, Mom."

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"Cupid. Cupid wake up."

I groaned and rolled on my back. I opened my eyes slowly and looked up at Dad. Jack was lying in bed under the covers. "Yeah?"

"Have you seen your mother?" he asked.

"She went on a walk last night," I said, closing my eyes, but once I realized what I said I sat up, eyes wide, fully alert. "Did she not come home?"

"No. I got home at three in the morning and she wasn't here. I shut the door and locked it so she'd have to use the spare key outside. It's still locked. I don't think she came home and left so quickly, though. It's seven. When did she say she was leaving?"

"It was around one in the morning."

She wasn't home two hours later. I jumped out of bed and put on my shoes and a shirt and coat, Dad putting his coat on. "I'm going to go to people's houses and see if she's there or if they had seen her. Go look around for her, maybe in the park," Dad ordered.

I nodded and started to jog along the sidewalk. I was scared. I was Cupid, so I could feel things. Yeah, I couldn't tell how certain people felt, but I still felt some things. Maybe not their emotions, but I was able to tell Jack's mom was pregnant before she could. If I could tell there was a new life...maybe I could tell there was a death some where. The thought brought tears to my eyes, the cold wind in my face making it harder to hold them back. She was probably just at a friend's house. Maybe. Why would she go there? Why not come home? I decided to go to the park because I knew she use to walk in the park a long time ago, like when she was pregnant with me and when I was young we'd sometimes walk together, though she prefered to be on her own. She loved taking walks. Why did she stop?

I slowed as I entered the park, looking all around. I hugged my arms because it was so cold outside. It dropped a lot lower in one night. I remembered the day I came home from school and Mom was sitting in the recliner, just looking out the window. That was the time when she always walked. When I got home she was always walking and would arrive to the house about twenty minutes later. I asked her why she was out walking and she said she didn't feel like walking. That was the day that Jack's dad died. Is that why she stopped walking? Is that why she stopped doing so many things? She use to be such an active housewife, but then she hired a maid and Dad always cooked. She stopped doing much of anything after that. He was her true love, and they never got together. He died, and I know that when your true love dies...you slowly grow more and more empty until you just can't take it. That's why some people sleep and never wake up. They were healthy, but they didn't feel the need to live without their true love. If they had kids, it was a different story.

I walked forward, keeping an eye out. It must've been hard for her. Jack and I were a constant reminder that she never got with the one she was meant to be with. Mom was a constant reminder to Dad that he failed. Did she ever feel guilty? She shouldn't have, but what if she did? Did she blame herself? I stopped. Does. Does she blame herself. I walked quicker, glancing all around. "Mom!" I shouted. No response. I started to run through the woods behind the park, looking around, spinning in circles, trying to find her. I ended up tripping over a root sticking up through the ground. I fell on my front, landing on the hard, cold ground.