my dreams attempted to bury me away
on his birthday
barely on speaking terms but enough for nightmares
and there's so many different forms of silence that feel like they tear us apart
are they malicious or do they just not know how to share their heart?
forgiveness can often be used as a form of self harm
"please stay, please don't hurt me"
don't we all just want to be loved?
i know i've let him down
he let me down too, a little too hard
my scraped knees will probably forever scar
but what's done is done and what was happy is now tainted by a bittersweet pain of the memory of him
i can never have that kind of love again, i lost so many precious things
but happy birthday dad
is the bottle to the mouth or to the head this time?
