The Missing Years - a kissing booth fan fiction

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Elle

Caitlin knows something's up with me when she gets back, but waits until the others are in class one afternoon to bring it up. I don't have the strength to hide it anymore so I tell her the whole story.

"Wow," is her first response.

"Yep, pretty much." I look down at my hands.

"You know what you need?"

I look up, questioning.

Cait smiles. "Drinks, lots of drinks. Stuff class this afternoon, let's go."

We're a couple of drinks in when she asks, "So what are you going to do now?"

"I have no idea. Obviously I have to do something, but how do you come back from that?"

"I don't know, Elle. But I think whatever it is, it has to be in person. Can you see him when you get back?"

"Well, I don't know what his plans are for the summer, but probably."

"Well then, that gives you a bit of time to work it out."

I nod, but I'm not so sure.

The rest of term is so busy between finishing all my assessment and planning the trip with Lee, that I barely have time to think at all. Before I know it, I'm packing up all my stuff to ship back home and saying goodbye to all my friends. There are tears and laughter and lots of hugs and then I'm on my way to Spain with Caitlin and Callum. The place their family stay on the coast is gorgeous and I relish the chance to soak up some sun.

The three of us are lying on sunloungers on the beach, big umbrellas providing enough shade so we don't get too sunburnt. Cait announces that she's going for a swim. I am so relaxed I can barely move, so I just mumble "Have fun."

I hear Callum shuffling around on his chair and turn my head to face him. He's sitting up, facing me with a very earnest expression on his face. I push my sunglasses up on top of my head and ask, "What's up?"

"Well, I guess, I just thought that, I shouldn't miss the opportunity to tell you something."

He looks nervous and now I'm a little bit afraid that Lee was right. "Oh?"

"Look Elle, I know you're going home soon and that's part of the reason I never said anything, but I like you, a lot. We're friends, and that's brilliant, and you're also Cait's friend and that's another reason I never said anything. But the main reason is that I always sort of got the impression that you had your heart set on someone else. Back home. That you weren't actually looking to date anyone."  

"Was I really that obvious?" I thought I'd done a pretty good job of hiding everything that was going on inside me, of pretending.

Cal chuckles, "Well, when even a magnificent specimen like Andy can't turn your head, there's got to be someone else on your mind, Elle."

I laugh then, thinking of all the girls I'd seen throw themselves at Andy after rugby matches. Maybe I hadn't been so obvious after all.

He goes on. "Elle, I didn't tell you to make you feel bad or anything, just the opposite. I guess I just wanted you to know, to get it off my chest. But also, if that guy is ever not in the picture, and you find yourself back on my side of the ocean, promise you'll phone me for a drink, okay?"

I smile genuinely at him. "I promise. Thanks Cal."

Lee arrives a couple of days later and soon we're off on our adventure. First stop Barcelona, where we do an architecture walking tour I booked for Lee and eat way too much paella. We go to Paris, where we people watch at cafes while eating all the pastries we can get our hands on. Next is Amsterdam, and we bike around the city, taking in all the sights and working our way through the food trucks at a festival in a park. In Munich we make make fools of ourselves after a couple of steins of beer by trying to join in with the locals singing traditional songs in a beer hall, and Lee makes one too many wiener jokes. We eat our bodyweight in chocolate in Switzerland and even more pasta and gelato in Italy.

We eat and drink and laugh and dance our way through a whirlwind tour, ending in Rome. On our last day before flying out, we sit at a cafe and eat traditional pizza before walking to the Trevi Fountain to make our wish. We each throw a coin over our shoulders, hoping to return again one day. It's been a ridiculously fun trip with my bestie, and I couldn't have asked for a better end to my overseas exchange.

Our arrival back home is a big one. I haven't seen my family in person in close to a year, and I can't describe how wonderful it is to be sandwiched in a hug with my Dad and Brad. Linda gives me a big hug too, followed by June and Matthew. We all go out for dinner and Lee and I have so many stories about our trip that the time flies by and soon we're both yawning. June declares it's time to go so that Lee and I can get some rest, and I couldn't agree more.

The next few days I spend at home, recovering and catching up with everyone. I go out for lunch with Steph and we spend hours trading stories about what we've both been up to the past year. I avoid going to the Flynn's. I know that Noah is home for a week, but I still have no idea how I'm going to break the ice. I don't know how he's feeling now, and the fear of the unknown paralyzes me. I put it off, knowing that he's going to be at the usual Flynn-Evans Sunday lunch, before flying back to Boston. Lee at least has seen fit to give me the heads up about that.

It's Saturday and I'm sitting in my room, stewing over when to approach Noah tomorrow. Should I do it in the morning? That way if it goes badly, one of us has the chance to bail on lunch? Or should I go to lunch and see how he is before talking to him afterwards? Ugh! I don't know! I give up and phone Lee to see what he's up to tonight.

"Hey bestie," he answers. I can tell he's in the car.

"Hey bestie, what's up?"

"Actually, I just dropped Noah at the airport."

"Oh. I didn't think he was leaving until tomorrow." I try to keep my voice even but I'm starting to panic. Have I missed my chance?

"Yeah, he changed his flight to an earlier one. Guess he'd had enough of Mom's nagging." Lee sounds like he's trying to be light-hearted, but there's an undercurrent of something else.

"Uh, right. Yeah sure. Well I guess I'll catch you tomorrow at lunch then?"

"Absolutely. Byeee."

"Byeee."

I stand looking at my phone for a minute after I hang up. What do I do now?

I make the decision to try and catch Noah before he heads back to Boston, but as I park my car I'm worried that I'm going to be too late. I rush into the terminal, staring up at the departures board. I spot what must be his flight just as the status changes to Boarding. I run up the escalator and through the building. When I get close to the gate, I spot him getting out of a chair, swinging his duffle bag onto his shoulder.

"Noah!" I say loudly, and he turns towards me. The look on his face isn't exactly happy.

"Elle."

Neither of us say anything for a moment. I'm searching his face for a sign that he needs this conversation as much as I do, but his look is blank.

He speaks first. "Look Elle, I have to go."

"Please. Wait." I look at him pleadingly. He stares back at me and the words dry up in my mouth. 

"What Elle?"

"I...I want to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

His lips flatten into a line and he nods. "Is that all?"

"No. I..." The words won't come.

"You what? What did you come here to say?" He's angry and I can't think.

"I...I don't know. I don't know what to say."

"Yeah? Well, you've had over a year to think about it. I don't have time to stand here waiting for you to figure it out now. I have to go."

With that he turns and heads over to the attendant, handing over his ticket. I stare after him as he walks away, never looking back.