Young Royals: Season 2

Episode 4

Christmas morning. A time most remember through adolescent rose-colored glasses. Waking up early, running to wake up mom and dad, begging them to get out of bed so the festivities of the morning could begin. Something about this day seemed so magical back then. Wilhelm wishing he was able to relive that magic more than anything as he stood, staring out the window of his bedroom. He had to give his speech today, the publicist had given him an outline of things he should talk about, but he didn't want to follow it. There were so many things he wanted to say that weren't included in that self-directed tirade. He wanted to speak on how he has changed, and n0t in the ways his mother had wanted. That even if he hated the idea at first, he was actually glad he was sent away to Hillerska in some ways. How he had finally began to learn about himself, and discover who he really is. Wilhelm didn't want to look back on the fight at the club, or how he's felt since his brother's passing, because truthfully, he didn't believe he would ever heal from the loss. He didn't want to focus on the past and his mistakes. He wanted to be able to speak freely, not follow some script that had been force fed to him. Without even realizing it, his hand began to drag along his chest, pressing firm as he rubbed back and forth. He was getting himself worked up about whether or not he should do as he was told, like he always does. For once, he wanted to do things his way, not listen to the voices all around him, directing him. Though, he wasn't sure if he had the courage to follow through with it. It's easy to say that he is going to do something, but actually committing to the idea is a whole other ordeal.

The morning was unusually quiet, the small family gathered around their extravagantly decorated Christmas tree. There weren't many presents to open, there hadn't been since Wilhelm became a teenager. Usually the family would opt for family trips as memories were always worth more than gadgets and clothes. But this year, it just didn't seem fitting. There was small talk here and there, though each conversation seemed to be followed by a pit of silence until someone spoke up to break it once more. They had a long morning ahead of them, nothing planned for the day besides the usual Christmas speech that afternoon. It was as if they all felt they had to be in each other's presence, given it was a family holiday, though the tension was painted thick in the air. It was moments like this that Wilhelm wished that everything had just stayed a secret. His family had never been perfect, as much as the general public seems to think they are, but at least if no one knew about Simon they wouldn't be suffocating from the silence. They could at least be carrying on as if things were okay. Not being able to stand it any longer, Wilhelm was the first to excuse himself. Standing from the chair, awkwardly running his hands along the sides of his legs, "Um... I'm going to go... start getting ready," he murmured before quickly exiting the room, not waiting for his parents to interject, considering there was still quite some time before the camera crews would be here. But truthfully, he needed all the time he could get to prepare himself. With a quicken pace he made his way back to his room, closing the door swiftly behind him. Letting out a long sigh, pressing his forehead to the door as his hand slowly slipped away from the knob. He finally felt like he could breath.

Knowing, hoping more likely, his parents wouldn't disturb him until it got closer to when the speeches were to begin, he walked over to his bed, sitting down. His hand slid under his pillow, moving along until he pulled out Erik's journal. He had kept it this whole time, reading some of the entries when he felt overwhelmed. Even if what Erik had written didn't have anything to do with what he was currently fretting over, just being able to read his thoughts, in that moment felt like he was able to talk to his brother again. And currently, Wilhelm needed his big brother. He needed guidance, support, just a sign that what he was trying to do was the right thing. That by being himself, speaking from his heart rather than a piece of paper shoved into his hands just before he was meant to speak, was the right way to go. Wilhelm always hated the idea of being judged for who he was, which resulted in him letting his parents and publicist puppeteer him for most of his life. When he was younger, he always seemed to fear that if he were to fall out of line it would be his fault for the royal family's reputation being tarnished. But he wasn't a kid anymore. He was his own person, with his own wishes and desires, and as much as the fire burned inside of him to chase those things, the little boy he once was in the back of his mind made him hesitant. It was if every time Wilhelm began to build the courage to step out of the box he was molded in, his younger self would come whispering in his ear. Warning him. He didn't want to be afraid anymore, and the first step to that was accepting that he couldn't make everyone happy.