Breaking Clarisse ***completed***

19. Home

My eyes shot open.

I turned my head to the now empty spot where Jeremiah was meant to be.  We had fallen to sleep wrapped entwined in lovers embrace.  Only empty reminders remained.

Today wasn't just a new day.  Today was the day. I got up early eager to see him. I actually wanted to see him before I left. But he was no where to be found. I searched his offices, the kitchen, his bedroom, I even roamed down hallway after hallway.

Where is he. I asked one of the workers.

He had work madame.

He won't be seeing me off will he? I asked sadly.

I don't think so madame.

Have you ever been terrified of loosing something. Well I was and suddenly I felt that fear fleeting through me and it was then that I realised I would never be with him again.

That thought all by itself haunted me. Was I falling in love with Jeremiah? I couldn't help but remember yesterday. His strength in the way he held me. The way he made me laugh. The way he looked at me when we spoke about this ending. His gentle caress as he held me last night. I was a fool to let it happen. Deep down I knew I would pay for it but right now I just wanted him here.

I knew what this was about he didn't want to say goodbye that was it. I decided what was the point I may as well be on my way then. I started to worry about Elijah and once that started I knew it wouldn't stop until I saw it through.

Elijah wouldn't be pleased at all. I had to prepare myself and I couldn't do that here. So I decided to pack up early. If Jeremiah wasn't here what was the point. I felt myself pull away emotionally. I blamed myself really for falling for him. I was an idiot to think I could do something like that.

My bags were finally packed. My eyes wandered the room. It was so huge that it left a feeling of sadness for him. Like it needed more people in it to give it that homey feel. My eyes then wandered down to the charm bracelet that now dangled from my wrist. He put so much thought into it and I realised I had him all wrong this whole time.

Jeremiah

I sat in my office staring at all my papers in a trance. Not thinking about any one thing. I had this annoying feeling that I just couldn't place. Like a craving that your body gets and it literally takes days to place and finally you realise it was that certain something that you wanted but you were just too stupid to actually figure it out. Then when you do figure it out you just know that its too late because by the time you figured it out you want something else. Or at least you wish you did.

My assistant marcy walks in.

What are you doing here dont you have that thing this weekend.

Yeah.

Jeremiah what the hell are you doing. You fought tooth and nail to get that girl at your place and now your being a pussy.

Marcy. I always knew she was strong willed and vocal when it came to her speaking her mind but wow. I didnt expect that. I dont know I just couldn't say goodbye to her. The thought of her leaving and me not having her is just. I-I can't deal with that. I studdered.

Your never gonna forgive yourself if you dont go say goodbye. Maybe I just needed to hear it out loud. Panic set in.

Your right I'm an idiot. He grabbed his shit and scurried from his office. Running out the door to the car. I still have time. He smiled giving her a thumbs up as he skipped out the door.

Maybe I'll just keep her. What the hell can he do about it anyway. I was debating in my mind a solution to this problem. I've always been real good at figuring out a way to get what I want. I had this hope thriving inside and I felt power like I never felt before. Like I could do anything and I hadnt felt that in years. Since before my momma died.