Epidemic || BFB au

Remorse

Taco's POV:

I spent as much time as I could avoiding Book. I really didn't understand why she didn't trust me...I didn't do anything wrong! I've always been nothing but nice to her, but she still hates me. Ever since the jawbreaker... she's so paranoid that I'll abandon the team. I've never shown any signs of disloyalty... I didn't know why she hated me so much.

I liked talking to Leafy and Teardrop. Lollipop would join sometimes, too, but a lot of the time she'd stay with the rest of the team. I could hear them sometimes, talking about me. I didn't like it, but I guess it's better than screaming at me.

"You have to stop." Said a voice from beind me. It was Gaty. "You can't keep doing this...none of this is her fault. I get that you want it to be, but you can't keep blaming someone who's innocent!"

I listened, waiting for Book's response, but it never came. Gaty paused for a moment, before continuing. "It's hurting all of us, not just her. I know you're trying to protect us and be a good leader, but this isn't the way. All you're doing is tearing this team apart. I don't think you even really hate her, I think you just want to hate her. You need someone to blame, so you just...chose her. But she isn't some kind of punching bag, Book. She has real feelings, and you can't keep ignoring that."

I didn't turn around, afraid they'd know I was listening. Leafy and Teardrop looked at eachother worriedly, then looked past me. I heard Book stand up, before hearing a loud slap. "No! I'm not pretending. She is a traitor!" She screamed, and that was the moment I turned around. She was pointing straight at me, glaring daggers at Gaty. Everyone soon looked at me, and I put my hands up as if to say "I'm innocent!"

"This is all your fault!" She was facing me now, "If you weren't here, we wouldn't be in this mess!"

A wave of sadness and anger washed over me. I stood up, "What are you talking about?" I yelled, "How is this my fault? Do you think I want this? Do you think I want to be in constant fear every waking second of the day? Not just from the challenge, but from you! I'm always terrified that maybe you'll kick me out, or hurt me, or...or kill me! I didn't do anything wrong- please, just please stop! Leave me alone...I didn't do anything..." Tears fell down my face, and I looked around to see everyone staring at me. Leafy's hand was on my shoulder, and I realized how much my throat hurt from yelling. Book looked shocked, before her face switched to one of anger.

She turned around to face everyone, as if they were an audience to some kind of play. "See? Those are fake tears! She's...she's guilt tripping you! She's making up all these lies to make me look b-"

I ran at her and shoved her to the ground. She hit the floor with a loud thud, and a gust of air escaped her lips on the impact. She struggled against me, both trying to breathe and trying to get away, but I didn't let her. I slammed my fists into her face repeatedly. "I told you to leave me alone! You didn't listen! You never listen! I'm not guilt tripping anyone! This is real, everything you've done to me is real! You're the fake one! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!" Blood splattered from her nose and mouth, but I didn't stop. I just kept attacking her, ignoring everything around me. "LEAVE. ME. ALONE."

I didn't even notice when she stopped responding. I didn't notice anything until I felt someone pull me back. When I opened my eyes and looked at Book...I stopped immediately. She was unconscious, her body covered in bruises and blood. Leafy held my arm tight, holding me back from harming her further. Everyone on both teams were staring at me, and it felt awful. I didn't want them to see me like this. This is what Book wanted all along, wasn't it? Now nobody would trust me...I would've killed her if Leafy didn't stop me. This was all part of her plan. She was trying to push me over the edge, and it worked.

"Hey...it's okay, Taco." Said a calm voice. I turned around and saw Leafy, who was now holding my hand reassuringly. "It's not your fault. Trust me, I know what it feels like to have people not forgive you..." She glanced back at another team in the distance, I'm pretty sure they were the Losers. "But...that's okay! As long as you know, deep down, that you're a good person, that's good enough. Plus, you'll always have me and Teardrop! We trust you! Right, TD?" Teardrop happily nodded her head. I smiled, "Thank you guys...it's good to know that not everybody hates me, but...still. I just wish the others would understand..."

Leafy pulled me into a hug. I didn't realize how much I needed it until then, "I know it's hard, but...I'm sure they'll trust you eventually! We just have to prove that it isn't your fault."

I guess she was right, but still...how would we even do that? It's hard to gain people's trust back after you've lost it. She was dealing with the same thing, though. Maybe we could work together, help eachother gain forgiveness. It was nice to have someone I could relate too. Someone who was always on my side, no matter what. Book's blood still stained my hands and face, but...Leafy didn't care. Behind her, too, was a path of heartache and remorse, her past actions looming behind her like a curse. But she kept on going. I respected her for that, more than anyone else I knew. She was brave. If I sticked with her...maybe I could learn how. In that moment, I was so glad our teams sticked together. If we hadn't...I'd be dealing with this alone.

a/n: i keep forgetting to post these wtf
anyways hihihihi im running out of things to say here