𝙎𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝘼 𝙆𝙞𝙨𝙨 (𝙩𝙖𝙚𝙠𝙤𝙤𝙠)

37: harsh

ignore the mistakes please.
Author pov:

small step towards the graves, taehyung helds the bouquet tight, eyes filled with tears and lips quivering.
he stops at particular spot, doesn't lift ups his gaze for awhile, sits on his knees finally looks up and then smile through tears.

"h-hi" he says while keeping the bouquet on her grave, doesn't say anything again for some time, gaze set down now, playing with his finger.

"I'm sorry"he says,gathers all his strength not to shed tear while he speaks his heart out.

"I'm sorry, mumma" he wipes off the tears, inhales a shaky breath, pulls up a smile as he look up to her grave again, she's burried below the ground, he's breathing abow the ground, two world meeting one with whisper and one with no words.

"m-mumma... are you happy? you feel lonely"? he asked, head tilt to side a little as if she's before him and he's dropping his childish question just like he used to do during his early age.

" i got these flower---embrace them with the feel as if you are hugging me" he stuttered, trailes his hand to the graves, caresses it.

he then doesn't say anything, she knows everything he feels, everything he has been through, just he needed to few minutes to spend and say a good bye--a happy one.
he gets up, smiles while wiping his tears

"i--- i know--you hear my silence, mumma.i miss your warm hug, i wish I could hug you now, sleep in your embrace" he utters, bites his lips hard fight backs his sobbs.

"I love you remember that---and sorry I couldn't be an ideal son for you and appa, I couldn't be an ideal brother for baeky hyung---i couldn't be an ideal partner for jeonguk----i couldn't be anything mumma---but what to do? nobody wants me---nobody loves me---may be that's because i deserve this all---because of me you are here---lying beneath the ground---so it's okay--i'll bear it mumma--- I'll bear it."I'll meet you soon, yeah "?

he wipes off his tears, get up and pick the other bouquet as well.
Steps backward with a smile , looks up in the sky which certainly change into hue of grey, the weather just before he came here was up bright but now the sun is hidden behind the piece of cloud

he walk towards the grave of chayeong, his swell eyes scan across the cemetery and he finally stop at certain grave,freezes.

the grave is chaeyoungs and he forget to breath taking a note of guy who's crouching beside, heads down, soft breeze gusting through his eyes brown hair soft rustling sounds of fallen leaves and plants ,he can hear the silent cry, there's no way he wouldn't recognize him because it's him, his jeongguk his bun his love.

can i hold you tight so that I would take your pain away.

taehyung stayed rooted, doesn't blink. and he actually stops breathing when jeongguk lift up his head, brown hair falling on his eyes and their eyes meet, they look at each and then doesn't look anywhere.

should I just look at you or
Should I hug you tight
should I tell you my pain or
Should I hear your sorrow
Should I tell you I miss you or
Should I tell you I love you

Jeongguk feels the lump growing in his throat, heart beating unevenly, he slowly gets up, the undening feeling spikes up, he takes the note of taehyung blue eyes are swell, he take the note of his pale skin, he take the note of taehyungs dry plump lips, he take the note of taehyungs trembling hand holding bouquet, he take the notes of everything taehyungs has---he just can't help to ignore taehyung, he can't ignore the beautiful person standing before who look so dull yet, still so beautiful.