Amnesia

CHAPTER 25

I accepted my fate. Masakit pero tinanggap ko nalang. Walang mangyayari kung patuloy ko lang na guguluhin si Justin, baka mas lalo lang siyang magalit sakin kaya hindi ko na pinilit pa.

I just found myself entering a bar for the second time. Tumakas lang ako mula sa bahay, Freyja didn't knew that I'm here.

Alam kong nagkakasiyahan na sila ngayon sa bahay. Ken, Josh, and Paulo, are at the house, kasama rin ata yung kani-kanilang girlfriend. Freyja and Stell invited them for a little celebration. Their wedding will be in three months. Justin was actually invited too ofcourse, pero hindi ko alam kung pumunta siya ngayon sa bahay dahil alam niyang nandon ako. It's one of the reason why I'm here, gusto ko na nandon siyang nagcecelebrate kasama yung mga kaibigan namin. Okay lang na wala ako o hindi ako kasama, basta ang gusto ko ay nandoon siya.

Sana nga ay nagkakasiyahan na sila ngayon. Hayaan nalang muna sana nila ako.

I have my phone with me but I turned it off pagkaalis ko para hindi nila ako matawagan.

Tahimik lang akong nandito sa bar, pinapanood ko lang yung ibang taong nagkakasiyahan dito.

It's been two hours since I'm here. Kanina pa rin ako umiinom. No one knows that I'm here, okay lang, bahala na mamaya pag-uwi. I can take a cab.

My brows furrowed when someone gave me a drink. I looked at the guy, I don't know him kaya hindi ko nalang pinansin.

"This is for you, drink it." he said.

I seriously looked at him. "I don't know you so why would I accept that? Baka kung ano pang nilagay mo dyan." sabi ko.

He just chuckled then shakes his head, may dimple siya, ang cute.

"Don't worry, wala akong nilagay dyan. I'm not like the other guys." he said.

Inilapag niya ulit sa harap ko yung inumin at tinitigan ko lang iyon.

"I just noticed you. Dalawang oras ka nang nandito, may inaantay ka ba at hindi dumating kaya kaninang pagtingin ko sayo, nangingilid na yung luha mo..." he said.

I just rolled my eyes at him tsaka tumingin sa ibang direksyon. Medyo masakit na ang ulo ko dahil hindi naman ako sanay na umiinom.

Sumandal ako sa kinauupuan ko tsaka mariing pumikit. I heared the guy chuckled pero hindi ko nalang siya pinansin.

"You look problematic. At mukhang hindi ka rin sanay uminom." dinig kong sabi niya. "Why don't you go home? You're already drunk, may balak ka bang mas lasingin pa ang sarili mo?"

"Meron." sagot ko nang nakapikit pa rin at hindi siya tinitignan.

I heared him tsked, what's his problem and why do he care?

I opened my eyes then I get the drink that he gave me. Dire-diretso kong ininom 'yon.

The guy unbelievably looked at me after.

"Order me more drinks, please." sabi ko sakaniya.

He stared at me for a moment. Nang wala siyang gawin ay hinawakan ko ang braso niya tsaka siya mahinang niyugyog.

"Please..." I said.

Later on he just sighed and nodded kaya mahina nalang akong napapalakpak na parang bata. Despite of my diziness ay nagawa ko pa siyang kausapin nang ilang saglit.

Then our orders are served at ako naman ay uminom kaagad.

"Slow down woman... Stop drinking kung di mo na kaya."

I just shake my head and took another glass.

"K-Kaya ko." I said while grinning at him.

Nakangiwi nalang siyang napatingin sa akin.

Hindi ko alam kung nakailan na ako pero parang mas sumakit na ang ulo ko. What the hell, it's like all around me is spinning.

"Ano ba yung problema mo? We can talk about it. I can give you some piece of advice too."

Hindi ko siya sinagot.

Kinapa ko ang phone ko sa bag tsaka iyon binuksan.

Confidence suddenly build inside me. It's like something is pushing me to call someone, to call Justin, and that's what I did.

Pinakita ko ang phone ko doon sa lalaki, pinakita ko sakaniya na tinatawagan ko si Justin.

"Just shut up for a while, or it's better if you leave. Ito lang ang kakausapin ko." I said.

Inayos ko lang ang boses ko para maintindihan niya ako.

The guy didn't say a thing.

I waited for Justin to answer my call. It's ringing, I hope he will answer it.

First attempt he didn't, second, third, fourth, hanggang sa hindi ko na mabilang.

"He's not answering. Baka tulog na."

"No!" pagmamatigas ko.

Last, last try. Kung hindi pa niya sagutin, edi wag.

Justin's phone continued ringing, all I did is just to wait for him to answer.

It's already midnight, pero gising pa naman ata siya.

"J-Justin..." I uttered Justin's name.

I can't believe it, he answered my call!

"Jah..." I uttered again.

Nararamdaman ko na nangingilid agad ang luha ko kahit wala pa naman akong sinasabi.

I looked at the guy and he's confused while staring at me.

"S-Sorry... I'm very sorry, Jah." I said. "Thank you for answering this call, I promise this will be the last, but please just let me talk to you. M-May g-gusto lang akong sabihin..." I paused para ayusin ang boses ko. Alam ko na iniisip niya na ngayon na baka lasing ako dahil sa pananalita ko kaya inayos ko ang boses ko.

"I am very sorry... I know you're alreary tired hearing it from me but just like what I said, last na 'to... Hindi na kita guguluhin, o kukulitin. I won't bother you anyomore, just like what you want... S-Sorry sa mga ginawa ko ha..." my voice broke as I said those, I started crying. "It was very late when I realize what I have done. I lied to you for two years, ang sama ko, ang sama-sama ko... I wasted the trust that you gave me... Tama ka, dapat tinutulungan kita non na maka-recover sa Amnesia mo but I didn't. I was so selfish and I just thought of myself' happiness, naging makasarili ako. I'm sorry..."

I took a quick glance at the guy in front of me and he's looking at me shocked. Alam kong nagulat at naguguluhan siya sa mga naririnig niyang sinasabi ko.

"I ruined everything, I regretted everything too... Our friendship since we were still kids, the trust that you had for me, nasira ko lahat ng pinagsamahan natin Jah... P-Pasensya na..."

I paused again because I cried more harder.

Napayuko na rin ako tsaka napapikit habang umiiling-iling.

Napakasakit ng ginagawa kong 'to para sakin. But this is the truth, I know now that the truth really hurts.

"Thank you for everything. Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan lahat ng pinagsamahan natin... Thank you for listening to me... S-Sorry ulit..."

I heared nothing from Justin on the other line. Hindi ko alam kung nakinig ba siya sa mga sinabi ko o sinagot niya lang yung tawag ko para hindi na ako mangulit pa. Hindi ko na alam.

I waited for a minute for him to speak pero wala akong narinig mula sakaniya. I sighed before ending the call.

I frustatedly gripped on my hair and cried hard.

Wala na, I meant what I say even if I'm drunk.

——————————

Bazinga MV is out now! Let's stream.

-Zy