𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐖𝐞 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲

𝟑𝟎-𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐮𝐱 𝐍𝐨ë𝐥

𝓠𝓾𝓲𝓷𝓷

It's been over a month since Jordan and I have started whatever this is. 

We haven't told our friends nor have we defined what we are. 

If it isn't obvious we still haven't slept together but we are doing other things. 

Really good things. 

There were a few times I thought about bridging the whole 'what are we' thing but then dropped it because I'm a coward. 

I don't want to be just a fun time for him but at the same time if I learn that's all that I am I think I might cry. 

No really, I am in really deep with him. 

Too deep for this to just be casual hook ups. 

Of course my natural response is to go to Della for these things but I can't because she doesn't know we are together. 

Why?

Because we aren't or are we?

God this is confusing.

"You ok?" Poppy asks and I nod, running my fingers through my already tangled hair. 

It's finals week and I am stressed. 

It's already Wednesday night so we only have two more days of finals before we go home for Winter break. 

"Uh yeah." I tell her and she gives me a 'I don't believe you' face. 

I sigh, "Fine but it doesn't leave this room ok?" I say as I stand and walk over to her bed. 

She closes her book, turning her full attention to me. 

"I am sort of seeing this guy. I mean we are hooking up, not sex but other stuff." I clear my throat, "Anyways it's been going on for almost two months now and it's been fun but I am worried that's all it is to him." I tell her. 

"Have you talked to this guy about it?" She asks and I shake my head, "N-no because I really like him and I don't know if he feels the same."

She snorts, "Well you have to ask him, he won't just come out and tell you what his feelings are."

"Why not?" I ask, confused. 

"A lot of guys tend not to."

"So it's a guy thing?" I ask and she nods. 

Hmm. 

"But how do I ask him without it sounding obvious?" I ask and she shrugs. 

"Like I would know. I have only had one boyfriend, and he was my dads friends son. We were set up so their really wasn't any feelings. Just sex." She says bluntly. 

"Ugh this is so hard." I say flopping down on her bed. 

Poppy laughs, "Well whoever this guy is he would be a fool not to want more from you than some stupid hook ups. I mean Jordan would probably flip to have you want him like that."

I sit up quickly, "What?"

"Oh come on Quinn we've talked about this. He looks at you like a dog looks at a piece of bacon."

"Wow, amazing analogy." I say dry and she rolls her eyes. 

"What I am saying is if this guy doesn't want more from you than he isn't your guy." She says honestly and I think she's right. 

Even if she doesn't know she's indirectly talking about Jordan. 

The thing is I have no idea how to bring it up. 

☆ ☆ ☆

"You seem distracted." Jordan says as he sits down beside me in history on Friday. 

I still haven't asked him about us because I am scared. 

Della would probably call me a weeny right now. 

"I'm fine." I say, flipping through my notes in my journal. 

"Come on Taylor, what's going on in that huge brain of yours."

I look over at him, "Was that an insult or a compliment."

"Compliment, now what's up?" He enquires. 

I point to my journal, "Trying to get ready for our final."

"What's really bothering you?" He asks suspiciously.

I sigh, "Can we talk about it after school?"

He shakes his head, "After last class I have to head straight to the airport. Tell me."

"At lunch?" I ask and he concedes. 

By the time lunch rolls around I am so nervous I am sure I look like I'm hiding something. 

The only thing I am hiding is how I feel, wow so deep Quinn. 

"Joeux Noël." Della sings as she sits down at the table. 

Casper gives her a confused look. 

"Merry Christmas you dork." She says and he nods. 

"Look at me learning French, I get to mark it off my list." she cheers as she pulls out the piece of paper. 

Jordan walks in to the dining hall and sits down beside me. 

"Uhm, I have to go to the bathroom." I say, standing abruptly. 

I give Jordan a look telling him to follow me. 

I guess I'll just spit it out and if things don't go how I hoped I have two weeks away from him. 

"I'll go with you." Della says and I shake my head. 

"It'll be fast." She stops me, "No." She gives me a look that says she needs to talk to me. 

With a sigh I nod and she stands up as well. 

I give Jordan a small shrug as I follow her to the restrooms. 

"What's up?" I ask as the door shuts behind us. 

She fiddles with one of her curls. 

"Sadie I think likes someone else." She says before giving me a sad smile. 

I walk over to her, "Are you sure?"

She nods, "I mean I know weren't together, together. I just thought she liked me you know."

I know the feeling. 

"Why do you think she likes someone else?"

She sits down on the counter, "Because I sort of asked her about it. Well I actually asked her out on a date and she said she didn't realize I wanted all of that. I guess she just thought we were casual."

"That doesn't mean she's seeing someone though. Right?" I ask and she shrugs, "I mean it might if she thought we were just casual. She could probably be seeing other people."

Is Jordan seeing other girls?

The ugly green jealous monster in me doesn't like that idea one bit. 

By the time Della finishes ranting about Sadie the bell has rung for next period. 

I try to talk to Jordan during English but our teacher hands out the tests right away so I don't have a chance. 

Then by the end of the day he's on a plane and I lost my chance. 

I guess that question will burn in my mind for the next two weeks.