Let's Chat, Shall We

Day Thirty Two

October 20, 2021

Loves,

Not much to say here, I don't think. I'm on mostly day shifts now, but Thursday and Friday I work overnights until we get another overnight person.

I'm work 10am to 6pm today, doing a stock shift, which is nice because I don't have to deal with anyone. I can just been in my own little world in the coolers. Which, we got hella deliveries yesterday, so I've got my work cut out for me, I guess.

It's 8:15am now, and I'm debating if I want to take a shower before I go in or if I should wait. I mostly want to take one now so my hair is easier to put into a bun, but I feel like I should wait because my hair would be wet when I go into work, and I don't want to get sick.

Oh, and I worked a Deli shift yesterday, which was hella easy, it just took me a little longer to get the clean up done, because I actually did the cleaning required, unlike some. Our big boss is supposed to be in on Friday, so I'm hoping everyone can get it together and actually do their work. I honestly didn't feel like I did anything yesterday.

And, because I'm avoiding it, I'm gonna voice it...

Do you ever feel like you're helping someone, but really you're not? If that makes sense?

I don't know, I've just felt that way the last few days, and honestly just feeling absolutely useless, because who am I really to think I'm helping anyone? I try not to think on it too much, but my brain hardly ever sleeps, and all I really want to do is cry because I feel like I'm just saying words that are supposed to mean something, and then they're just words to the next person.

Eh, whatever. I'm sure I'm just being dramatic or sensitive, whatever word you want to use there... I'm just gonna be here to listen and probably not dish out advice, because I can't even get my own shit together...

That's all for now, I guess... I'm actually gonna go take that shower....

All my love,
-Nic