Let's Chat, Shall We

Day Forty Six

March 9, 2022

Loves,

Do you ever get the overwhelming feeling that everything is about to turn around on you?

Like, you're happy, you're healthy, you're well taken care of and you're providing for yourself? And then all of a sudden, you just start to wonder when all of it's going to stop.

See, It's been almost a year since I started this book. A year since I left my toxic marriage and brought my son and I some where safe. Almost a full year.

I've had my job for almost a year, been a single mom for almost a year. Been in my own house fair almost seven months...

But, lately... the last few days, my mind has been heavy, and my mind has been in a dark place. All I want to do is lay in my bed and do nothing. I want to cry, I want to be left alone, and I don't want to open up myself to anyone because it's just a lot.

I've been needing to clean my house for a week, I've got clean laundry that's been waiting to be folded for two weeks... I haven't cooked a proper meal because I don't have the emotional or mental energy to do so.

I'm supposed to work in the next twenty minutes, and I haven't even started getting ready yet.

All of my bills are coming due at the same time, I get paid tomorrow, and all my money is about to go to my bills, and then I wait another two weeks to pay the rest of them.

I feel like I'm falling behind.

I feel like I'm failing.

So, if I haven't reached out recently or been very active, I'm sorry. I just don't need people worrying for me more than they already do. I just don't feel like I'm worth effort at this point.

-Nic