// six // luke //
I actually knew that Mikey was gay before he said anything, he was just that sort of kid. Of course, I didn't think he knew about me, but I didn't expect him to. No one knows. I lied about Ashton. I just felt like I could say it because Michael did.
And honestly, I like Michael.
Yeah, sure, it's probably stupid and fake and just me being me, but I want him to like me too. Obviously at the moment that's not working for me too well, he seems to hate my guts and despise everything about me.
But that scene at lunch today, after Zayn left with the guys, and Mikey stroked my hair to calm me down. He was fixing me up and wanting me to relax, but I couldn't. I couldn't relax because he was putting his hands on me, he was actually helping me and caring for me, and I don't get that a lot. And not in the way he did it, either; and I wanted more of it.
Although, knowing me, I didn't know how to get it again, so I went on being the douche bag kid I was. Mikey was the first to fall asleep, and even though Calum was starting to get drowsy too, I woke him up so he could help me draw a dick on his face. We did, using a permanent Sharpie, too. We couldn't stop laughing, he was the deepest sleeper I knew.
After awhile, the two of them were passed out on the floor, but I couldn't seem to get myself to sleep. I wanted to find a way to get Michael to be with me. I hated that my look and personality was so hard and I acted like a tool, I wish there was a way to show the soft side I have. It's weird, but I'm the same as everyone else. I may be a dick but I also want to hold someones hand and stay up late ranting with someone and give flowers to someone and tell them I love them. I hated that no one could see that through me, I hated that I couldn't let anyone see it through me.
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Static Sound (Muke)
Fanfiction" there comes a time when you look at someone in the eyes and just realise for the first time that everything is going to go perfectly fine. "
