Love You In My Mind // Sirius Black

Chapter 39

I spent the time of my seventh year just reading, studying, playing Quidditch and occasionally meeting the marauders.

Because I did a lot to distract my mind from thinking about Sirius and my unrequited feelings for him, I was better at school than ever, and still manged to read for myself.

That way I found out about the 'Room of Requirement'. It was mentioned in 'A History of Hogwarts', which I had decided to reread around Christmas. It said that it was a room that appeared when students really needed it, and it would always look just like one needed it at the moment. Although it was never mentioned how to find or open it, or even where it was, all of the descriptions fit the room on the seventh floor perfectly.
Whenever everything got too much, I went there for a couple hours, just being alone, reading, and sometimes crying a little.

It was perfect to clear my mind and and to have some quiet time, without getting scolded by Madame Pince for bringing chocolate, and without getting odd looks from other Ravenclaws.

And because the marauders had never asked me why the hell I spent so much time in a deserted room, and actually only asked me where I dissappeared to, I figured that the marauders had actually not managed to find the Room of Requirement. But I didn't want to risk them disturbing my safe place, so I only shrugged and told them that I had been in the library or strolling through the grounds.

We won the Quidditch game against Slytherin (as usual it had been a pretty unfair match), and were over the moon because of it - but when Hufflepuff also won against Slytherin, all our hopes for the Quidditch cup were lost.
It was around that time when I rediscovered cheering charms.
And let's just say- they really made the school year a lot easier, especially whenever I saw Sirius and Marlene being really really cute and happy together.

No, time didn't heal my wounds - but I found ways to live with them.

I was once again sitting in the Room of Requirement, when I looked at my watch and realised that I had do rush downstairs to arrive on time for my career advice session with Professor Flitwick.

We'd talked back in my fifth year, but since my time at Hogwarts would come to an end soon and all of us had to find something to do afterwards, the seventh years had to talk to their house teachers again.

I arrived in time and even had enough time to calm my breath, before I knocked and Professor Flitwick's squeaky voice told me to come in.

Professor Flitwick was a pretty small teacher and his head only reached the waists of his students, which had the Ravenclaw students rumouring whether or not he was part elf- but none of us had ever been impolite enough to ask.
We didn't want to make him uncomfortable, because all of us really liked our teacher.

I remembered how I'd been sad in my second year at Hogwarts because my dorm mates hadn't really been on speaking terms with me back then, and Professor Flitwick had noticed that and called me into his office once after class.

I had been really scared to be in trouble, but he'd just asked me if I was alright and whether he could help me somehow. When I'd told him that I was homesick (I hadn't wanted to talk about my friendship problems with him), he had patted my shoulder and taken out some miniature sized cupcakes from his desk's drawer, which he had bewitched to dance around on the table until I was feeling better.

So, let's just say that all Ravenclaws had a soft spot in their hearts, reserved for Professor Flitwick.

"Hello Miss Tygris, how are you today?" He asked me, gesturing me to take a seat across from him. As usual, he was sitting on a pile of books so that he would reach his desk. I had often wondered how that could be comfortable, but I suspected that he'd put some kind of charm on them.

"Very well, Professor, thank you," I replied, smiling.

"That is great to hear, as always." He took some paper in his hands. "Now, I remember that last time we talked about careers, you were so unsure that you wanted to keep all options open. Now I see that you've dropped out of History of Magic and Astronomy, so am I correct with the assumption that you are closer to deciding on a job now?"

My right foot began to bob up and down as I embarrassedly looked at Professor Flitwick's desk.
"Uhm... I have a few ideas, but I don't know if they're realistic."

"Alright, let's see," my teacher encouraged me to go on.

"Well," I tumbled over my own words. "I would like to become a teacher at Hogwarts, but there are no free spots, so that's unrealistic."

"Maybe for now," Professor Flitwick shook his head. "A lot of the teachers here did some other job before the positions they wanted were free. So, can I ask you what subject you have in mind?"

I blushed. I really didn't want to be a crawler. "Charms," I mumbled, a little embarrassed.

But Professor Flitwick's smile widened. "I did hope you'd say that," he winked at me. "Yes, I can see it, I definitely see it. You're more than good enough at the subject, and you were a Prefect, so trustworthy and good with younger students."

I blushed even more and didn't meet Professor Flitwick's gaze. Whereas I was flattered that he thought so highly of me, I still wanted the floor to swallow me up.

"Yes, when I retire, I'll make sure to put in a good word for you."

My face felt even hotter. "Thank you, Sir."

"Oh, it's my pleasure," My teacher waved his hand dismissively, still smiling happily. "Now, you need a job before becoming a teacher. What were your other ideas?"

I shrugged. "Well... I would really like being an Auror, I think. But I'm scared that I won't be good enough and will fail at protecting others."

Professor Flitwick nodded understandingly. "I see. And I understand, but I think that there won't be a job where we won't do some mistakes. It's only natural. And, Miss Tygris," he took some other parchment and held it out for me to see.

My grades, I realised after a few seconds. The report cards from my previous years, and the grades I'd received this year so far. Three 'Exceeds Expectations' and the rest all 'Outstandings' in this year.

Professor Flitwick continued. "With grades like yours, no other student would think twice about being good enough for their dream job. Just have a little more faith in yourself. Professor Nostar said that you are very good in Defense against the Dark Arts, which is the most important thing for Aurors. You are exceptional in Charms and barely get any Es in Transfiguration and Potions."

Merlin, he made me sound like such a nerd. I couldn't blush any harder if I tried.
"Okay," I mumbled. It meant a lot to me that Professor Flitwick thought I'd make a good Auror, but I still had my doubts.

As though he'd read my mind, the small Professor sighed. "Miss Tygris, if you really want to be an Auror, don't think about whether you're good enough, because I'm sure that you are. People with much worse grades have managed to become amazing Aurors, you know? I advise you to go for it. If the job isn't for you, you can still drop out later, and you can become a Charms Professor at Hogwarts when I retire.
Nothing but yourself is holding you back."

I pondered about it for a little bit.
I mean, I suppose he was right, but I still had my doubts about being the right person for the job.
But he was right; I could at least try.

"I'll think about it, Professor. Thank you."

Maybe I would actually sign myself up for Auror training when Hogwarts was over.