Love You In My Mind // Sirius Black

Chapter 48

Our class stopped at 7 pm. Except for the very short lunch break (just long enough to take a few bites), there was no time when we could do something other than practice.

I dare say, I was pretty proud of myself. Moody seemed to think that if he didn't criticise, he already praised, so he really put an effort into remarking everything all of the trainees did.
When he came to watch Marlene and me duel wordlessly, he was actually quiet, just nodded and went away again, all without changing the grumpy expression on his face.
Marlene grinned at me, before firing another jelly leg curse in my direction.

After the lunch break, we revised several dark creatures, such as redcaps and vampires.

And when the day was over, I finally found the time to make my way to Lina, after saying goodbye to Marlene.
"Hi," I said to her, smiling.

She smiled back. "Freya, hi. I didn't know you've applied here."

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. I'd written her several times. "You didn't? I'm sure I've told you."

She tilted her head in a confused manner. "I didn't get any letters from you."

My mouth tasted bitter. I hadn't missed how her lip had twitched. There I had my confirmation, but I tried to stay cheery. "I never said that I sent you letters. I told you on the train ride home."

No, I hadn't. But I didn't want her to know that I found out that she'd actually received my letters. She just hadn't replied. Why else would she associate me telling her about my application with letters, if she hadn't gotten or expected any?
My throat clogged up. I didn't get it. Why had she been ignoring me? What had I done wrong?

"Oh, right, I remember now," Lina chuckled and tucked back a streak of her hair. "Must've slipped my mind, sorry."

I nodded. Of course she remembered it now. "Yeah." Then I cleared my throat to get rid of the hoarseness. "Anyway, I've got to go now. It's nice to've finally seen you again."

"You too, Freya. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yup," I popped the p happily and quickly scurried away from her.

As soon as I got away from the Auror Department, I let the facade fall.
When I arrived at home, I couldn't keep the tears at bay.

I hated upsetting people, and this was just like all those years ago with Valerie. I didn't even know what I'd done wrong!

No matter how hard I tried, apparently it would never be enough. I knew that I'd never been Lina's best friend, but I had been a friend for a long time, and I'd always been nice to her! We'd always gotten along well, too, so what had changed?

I really didn't know.

What I did know, though, was that this was just another thing to add to the list of things that made me sad.

~~~~~

The next month went by in a flash.

I kept going to order meetings and  spied on Death Eaters, I kept spending some time with my friends and I kept visiting my Auror classes.

I thoroughly enjoyed them, although Lina's forced kindness toward me always managed to depress me a little more. I still couldn't make a sense out of it, but I was too scared of confrontation to ask her.

And in this month, I also had to work with Marlene a lot, because we'd been assigned partners.

From riddles to practicing curses, we were a team.

Considering all of the jealousy and sadness in my life, I wanted to hate her. I really, really did.

But I just couldn't. It was impossible.
She cracked jokes, made lessons go by faster, and never shied away from helping me with Transfiguration exercises, whenever she got the hang of something quicker than I did. She'd even kicked Jack Gales in the nuts when he'd laughed after a stunning curse had knocked me into the wall.