✮The boys oneshots✮

I'm sorry ✮JuicyxJosh✮

Tw: Cutting, blood, sadness.

I also think this is the best I've done.

Gaege's POV

What's wrong with me. I feel like such a horrible boyfriend.

Every time Josh leaves the house, I'm afraid he won't come back.

I stressed from the thought, knowing that I couldn't cut anymore. I promised him I wouldn't.

This feeling stayed though. What happens if I'm right? What if Josh never loved me, and he leaves for someone else?

The thought of the razor slicing through my delicate skin once again..it calms me.

In the end, the only one who loves me is the bloody razor in my bathroom cabinet. Right?

My razor was hidden behind the toilet paper in the cabinet above the sink.

Josh thought I threw it away, but, of course I didn't.

Nothing compares to the feeling. Nothing.

It's not something I do all the time, but the feeling, and even thought of it, calms me when I'm stressed out.

I wish I could just find a better solution to calming my nerves. Something safer.

The razor blade was now in my pale skin, blood immediately surfacing. It was so satisfying watching the blood run down my arm.

I continued cutting until there was no space.

My arms, thighs, wrists, and lower legs covered in cuts.

How was I suppose to hide this? My ankles are very noticeable, even from far away.

Maybe some ankles socks will work. They could hide the scars, and some jeans could cover the socks up.

So, that is what I did. I put on some ankle socks, and quickly cleaned up.

There was a blood stain on the bathroom carpet, but that's fine..

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Josh's POV

"Gaege, I'm home! Could you-"

I stopped in my tracks, seeing something.

There was blood-stained socks sitting on the counter.

I didn't want to assume what it was, but I had a pretty good idea.

He quickly came downstairs in what seemed to be new socks. They were wooly, and the color black to hide what I know he'd done.

"Could I what Josh..?" He snapped me out of my trance.

"Could you tell me what these are?" I picked up the bloody socks carefully.

All of the blood seemed to drain from his face, and he wasn't quick enough to lie to me.

The silence wasn't comfortable on any means, but nor was it uncomfortable. We both know that I'm not mad at him. Only disappointed.

"Gaege.." I started, but he stepped back, running to the bathroom.

Quick to follow, I heard something horrible.

He sounded like he was hyperventilating.

His breathing was so loud, I could hear it from the other side of the bathroom door.

Cries could also be heard, and he was mumbling things to himself that definitely were lies.

"Please open the door, you can't be in there by yourself!"

When I got no response, I breathed in shakily. "Trust me Gaege.."

Still no response, so my only option was to either try and convince him, or bust the door down. "If you don't open the door baby, I'm going to kick it down."

I said this firmly, waiting to see if he does anything.

"I..I c-can't..open the door-" His words were almost incoherent.

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Gaege's POV

"I..I c-can't..open the door-" I could barely get out.

I felt paralyzed. As if I couldn't move from the spot I was in.

Suddenly, the bathroom door was kicked down, and this made my heart race faster.

Quickly he was by my side though, face to face with me. "Hey. Shh, just calm down Gaege. I've got you, ok?"

His arms wrapped around me, and I cried into him.

"I-Im so s-sorry Jo..Josh." I fumbled on my words, shaking.

"Shh..stop apologizing. Why did you do it though..?"

I was afraid to tell him. It was selfish of me to feel this way in the first place.

After I didn't reply, he just sighed. "You don't have to tell me, ok. I love you though."

We stayed in a hugging position for a little longer, my heart rate slowing to a somewhat normal pace.

We both knew I need Josh's help though, and my body was too weak for me to do anything by myself at the moment.

"I'm going to run you a bath baby. You don't have to move."

In return, I only nodded. This was accepted though.

The sound of the running water sounded nice. It was also at room temperature.

Josh helped me with my cloths, picking me up from the floor carefully, before laying me in the tub.

It was warm, and it had enough bubbled to hide things I tend to feel self conscious about.

The room was silent as he washed my hair, and he cleaned my cut up arms and legs.

From a glance, I could see the sadness he felt when finding new scars.

"I-I really am sorry.." I sniffled, rubbings my eyes.

"Hey, it's ok. I want this to stop though. I can't take it when I see you beating yourself up."

"You are perfect, and you need to realize that no matter how many people say other wise, You are anything but a 'inconvenience'"

I smiled, letting him help me out before wrapping the towel around me.

To do this, I sat on the edge of the bathtub. It was very slippery though.

"I love you too, and..I was just afraid I wasn't enough for you.."

This surprised him. "You will always be enough for me Juice. Always."

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