i am very sorry in advance.
on his way home from his most recent heist, kaz thought about his beautiful husband. he loved his staggy-boo so much he could hardly contain his constant excitement.
every single day, he expressed the excitement by deathly injuring someone. and every time he came back from a new heist, he bought something for his sugar baby. his husband had a bit of a strange name. it was just stag. technically, his full name was stag joost morozova. his middle name was after his great great grandfather, and his last name after the man who had created him in a lab.
"baby, i'm home!" kaz said, walking in the door.
"snort." stag joost morozova responded, galloping down the hall and destroying kaz's brand new decapell with his antlers.
"and guess what i've brought you today!" kaz exclaimed. "a new gucci suit, just for my staggy-boo!"
"snort snort"
bonus: here's their child, aka a random statue thing i saw at a store