The Black and Red Dragon

Chapter 42: Who am I?

Everyone got their wounds taken care of, including Ser Jorah. I am currently trying to find him. Eventually, I find him laughing and sharing a drink with Ser Barristan, Grey Worm, and the fool called Daario.

I join them by sitting next to Jorah. I must say, after having spent so much time with him I can truly call him my best friend. I pat him on his shoulder. "Congratulations on sacking the city and coming back alive Ser," I say to Jorah with a smile. "And congratulations to you as well Grey Worm," I say in Valyrian to him. Grey Worm gives me a nod of appreciation.

"Thank you, Visenya." Jorah says and smiles at me. "I wish you could have joined us. No matter what Daario or Barristan may say, we could have used you." I shrug. "No matter, you survived well enough without me."

Daario shakes his head. "A bloody battle is not a place for a beautiful lady like you," he says. I am sick of this. Each time someone new questions my abilities because I am not a man. "Why?! I am just as capable as you or any man! I train every day hard to hone my skills," I say somewhat angry. I pick up a mug filled with strong liquor and down it in one go. Hoping it will alleviate some frustration.

They all look warily and kind of shocked at my outburst. "My lady, I didn't mean..." Daario says while holding his arms up defensively. I snap at him "What?! Don't play the stupid, fool. You offend me greatly. I survived Valyria, Dothraki, and see many horrible fucking dreams of bloody battles. All of you treat me differently because I am a woman! I am sick and tired of it!" I down another mug of liquor.

"Visenya..." Jorah starts saying and tries to put a calming hand on my shoulder. I remove it harshly. "No, you fools listen to me! I am sick of being treated like a helpless child. I have seen and experienced just as much as you! Daemon's rebellion, Rhaegar's death, and much more. So don't look down on me," I stand up to leave. "I will see you tomorrow morning. Good night," I say angrily to all but especially Daario. I walk away to my tent not wanting to hear their response.

—

The next morning I wake up again with my body covered in sweat and a headache. Only this time I am almost sure it was from the alcohol. For the first time, I am also not looking forward to training with either of the knights or Daario. A foreign feeling invades my mind telling me to stop trying. I don't know where it comes from but I do know it is not fully mine. It forces me to believe that my training has no point. Why train if I never have to do any fighting? It all accumulates to the point that I am currently not really seeing why I should go and train. Therefore I sit on my bed looking to the ground defeated.

Not much later after I woke up I hear Irri enter my tent. "My lady? You are not going to train today?" She asks me with slight worry in her voice. Probably because of how I look. "Irri, what is the point? They all look down on me anyway..." I softly say in a defeated tone. I hear Irri walking to me and standing in front of me. I am still looking to the ground. "Visenya, could you look up and face me. And I am sorry for what I am about to do." She says.

I frown in confusion. "Why ar-" I am cut off by Irri slapping me. I almost fall off my bed by sheer force. "What was that for?!" I ask completely stunned. Furthermore, for some reason, I don't feel the foreign feeling controlling my mind. "To help you remember. You are a queensguard that protects Daenerys. The person you love. Or did I remember wrong?" She says with a stern voice. I look with wide eyes at her. How could I forget?! What is happening to me?

I stand up and hug Irri. "Thank you Irri. I needed that and, gods, you are pretty strong," I say with renewed vigor. Irri hugs me back but quickly breaks it off. "Chop chop! You have somewhere to be!" She says. I smile. "Yes, ma'am!" I say and quickly get ready.

Not much later I arrive at the training field. It seems only Daario is currently there. I sigh. I was hoping not to see him first. "My lady..." he begins. I notice that his usual smirk and smug face are not present. Nevertheless, I raise my hand to stop him. "Daario, I like to say a few things first if I may," I interrupt him. He nods. "I apologize for my outburst yesterday. However, I hope you realize how rude you were with your remarks." He sighs. "I did and you don't have to apologize. It is me who should apologize. I did not know anything about you." I roll my eyes. "Yes, no one does and no one asks," I murmured. "That is why I wish to train with you. You learn from me and... I learn from you. To get to know who you are," he says. I walk to the training swords and toss one to him.