Healer

Chapter 10

     Talia held her breath as they pushed open the door. She wished she hadn't because it left her in an audible whoosh as they entered and he turned to face the sound. Cassian stood at the head of his bed, watching them. She had yet to see him so unreadable, but her focus shifted quickly back to Azriel. For once in her life she was glad of her slight limp, that it hid the weakness in her knees. You shouldn't be nervous. This was about her job as a healer, about whether she had succeeded at her task, and not about whether he remembered her. Whether he wanted her there. She sank in to that persona and killed her nerves.

"The healer is here." Cassian said as Talia approached the bed. Azriel blinked, the only indication that he heard. Over the familiar smell of him, she could sense an overwhelming feeling of wariness. Not fear, but.....caution. She couldn't help but notice the beauty of him despite her focus, and she was glad to see how alive he looked. His eyes were unseeing, but they were clear and wide, unlike the exhausted male she had watched in the nightmare. His coloring was nearly normal, much closer to Cassian's golden tan than the stone grey he had been for all those days. Talia knew in that moment that no matter what happened, she could live the rest of her life in peace having seen him this way.

She spoke to him as any healer would, as if it were only the two of them in the room. "Azriel. How are you feeling?" She kept her voice gentle, even. She stepped up to the edge of his bed but didn't reach out. Not yet. She had grown comfortable with him in his silence, but now she felt awkward. Small.

His lips parted slightly and closed again for a beat. "I'm fine." He sounded genuine, but still, that caution appeared even in his voice. And his voice, it sounded tired and weak, but not empty and not in pain. She relaxed slightly, ready to ask more questions, but he went on. "The healer from...you came here from Hybern?" Talia, slightly confused by the question, looked to Cassian. Had they told him nothing? The frown on his face told her that they had, and it was obvious to her then that Azriel was testing everything. Everyone. He still didn't trust his reality.

She played along. "I did. I was there in a cell for 6 weeks after the attack. After we met. One night, your brother showed up. He asked for my help and offered me anything I wanted in return. I agreed."

"I offered you refuge." He turned his face back to the ceiling, but his eyes remained open. He didn't sound accusatory but rather like he was recalling a memory.

"And Rhysand honored that."

"How long have you been here?"

"A couple of weeks." And I'll stay until I can no longer be of use. Dread threatened to creep in as she thought of how soon that could be.

"I saw you." He said it so quietly that Talia wasn't actually sure he had said anything at all.

She laid both hands on the edge of the bed and leaned forward slightly to ask him to repeat himself when, like lightning, he reached out and wrapped a scarred hand around her upper arm. She froze, the scene where he had nearly killed her in this same spot flashed in her mind and then vanished. This wasn't then and that wasn't him. He held her left arm tightly but never looked in her direction. Cassian and Rhysand both stepped toward her but she held up her free hand to stop him. He wasn't going to hurt her. He was trying to prove to himself that she was there. That this was real. She laid her right hand over his.

"I'm here, Azriel. And you're here. In your room, in the house of wind." He relaxed and let go, closing his eyes. She could feel, even without laying her hands on him, how hard his body was working to heal. Which was a good thing. Talia became aware that she was dirty and sweaty and tired herself. She turned away from him to leave. "I need to change." She said to no one in particular. She kept her calm demeanor as she exited the room, hearing someone's footsteps follow her out. She fought to keep it for just a few more minutes.