Healer

Chapter 18

      Talia woke with a sob in her throat, her heart pounding. She sat up, clutching the sheets around her body in the pale moonlight. It seemed like it never truly got dark. She closed her eyes, wondering if her nightmares were to blame, but she couldn't recall having any. Still, her hands shook and the pain was so loud in her mind that she whimpered. She noticed a metallic taste on her tongue. Blood. Slowly, shakily, she crawled out of bed and turned on the faelight in her private washroom. She looked at herself in the mirror. Besides her eyes wide with confusion in her pale face, everything looked normal. She opened her mouth. Nothing. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to try and slow the pace of her heart. She grabbed the cup off the sink and drank two glasses. 

When her hands finally stopped shaking, she crawled back under to covers but struggled to close her eyes, to rest. She couldn't shake the feeling that every time her heart beat in her chest, a second heartbeat echoed. She fell asleep after forcing her breathing to a steady rhythm and woke several hours later just as the sun began to stream through her windows.
She lay still for a while knowing that the day would probably pass slowly. She couldn't stop thinking about the night before in the hall, how she had let herself become entangled in the healer. She closed her eyes, silently thanking the gods that he had stopped when she prompted him, that she was waking only with the shame of letting herself go while on business and not the deeper guilt of letting herself be taken advantage of. She was ready to be back in Velaris but a nagging voice told her to prepare for things to keep changing, to keep getting complicated. Eventually, her handmaidens knocked and helped her dress before leading her to breakfast. She wrung her hands as she walked, nervous that denying Daria the night before might bode poorly for her with his high lord. She didn't have long to wait before finding out. Helion sat at the table in the small dining room as she entered.

 
"Ah." He said, smiling. "Just the female I was hoping to see." Talia smiled sheepishly and sat down across from him as food was laid down before her. He didn't wait for her reply. "I hope the day court has treated you well."
She nodded. "Even better than I could have expected."
"Daria was called into the city and was unable to join us, but he all but begged me to extend an invitation to you." He stopped to chew. "And I have to oblige." The high lord sat back, folding his hands in his lap.
"An invitation?" She feigned confusion.
"Invitation, job offer, call it what you will." He smiled but she couldn't detect any humor in the words.
"Hmm." She looked at her plate and took a bite, swallowing before she looked back up. "I so appreciate the offer, and your hospitality. But I should think before making any decisions." She smiled. "I expect this isn't over. I expect to be visiting other courts. And I still have a duty to Rhysand and his shadowsinger." 

Her heart swelled thinking of the shadowsinger. She would get to see him today. Helion studied her in the same way he had the night before. In the sunlight and sobriety, she could see wariness in his eyes.
He pushed back his chair and stood. "I understand. I hope we will get another chance to speak on it." She nodded. "I expect Rhysand this afternoon." 

He left her alone. Her hands trembled. She wondered if she had said the right things. As she walked back to her room to gather her things, she knew she should contemplate the offer from Helion, but her mind kept landing on the night before, waking up so shaken for no reason. She had felt another heartbeat with hers, like a connection to someone else. Maybe something was wrong, maybe someone she had previously bound to, similar to how Azriel appeared in her dreams, maybe he also woke her with his distress. She sat for too long thinking about how that could be possible, her anxiety growing as the time for Rhysand to take her approached. She paced her room until her legs grew tired and she heard a knock at her door. Annoyed at herself for not hearing the footsteps approaching, she opened to door to find Daria leaning against the frame.
"Leaving so soon?" An image of Azriel doing the same before she left the night court flashed in her mind.
"This was the agree-"
"I heard you turned down Helion's offer." He stepped in and shut the door behind him. Talia backed away from him, gathering herself. He looked as beautiful as before but there was something sinister about the smooth curve of his smile.
She shrugged, trying to keep it casual. "Not really. I only asked for some time to consider it."
"Ah." He nodded. "I was hoping last night might have changed your mind."
"It was tempting, sure." She smiled sweetly, hoping he would simply turn and leave.
"Then you think there's more to....explore?" He stepped forward and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her to him. It didn't feel the same as the wine drunk moment in the hall. It felt suffocating.
"Perhaps." She forced out, afraid in that moment to deny him, wondering if she would be able to stop him if she had to. She didn't want to explore anything. She wanted to go home. Home? She didn't know what home was. It wasn't night court, and it wasn't here. Again, she felt completely alone. Daria kissed her, forcing his tongue in to her mouth as she pushed against his chest. When he pulled away he let her go and she stumbled back. That same smile graced his face again.
"I'll be seeing you, then. Goodbye, Talia."