Healer

Chapter 11

     The next few days were a blur for Talia as sleep became more and more elusive. Every night, some variation of the forest dream woke her, burning her eyes, sometimes knocking her out of bed like it had the first time and sometimes leaving her unable to move at all. She couldn't understand why the scene created such a horror response in her, or why it lingered so long behind her eyes after she woke. She hadn't seen Feyre in days, she had been at home helping Rhysand with whatever he had gotten behind on while focused elsewhere, and Cassian seemed to be in and out a lot, too. Talia had finally mustered the courage to speak with the males about how they were babying Azriel.

"He's fine, he's just exhausted. The Hex tried to break him but it failed, I promise you won't break him now. He needs support, sure, but not to be coddled."

They seemed to relax after that and had been spending a lot of time with him, which meant she was alone with him very little. That was fine, though, as he wasn't much of a conversationalist and Talia found him increasingly hard to read. His shadows seemed to block the aura she usually detected on the fae around her, how she knew their emotions so easily. It was difficult with him, so she stuck with the physical part of healing and as of now, that was needed very little. He was getting stronger, often sitting up in bed when she entered, his wings bent gracefully around him. Still he could not see, but he hadn't seemed to give up on getting his sight back. A good sign. She had been in the ring with Nesta more, too, working herself enough to hope her body would sleep through the nightmares, but often to no avail. It was the fourth night of watching the same scene unfold when she forced herself out of bed and into the hall. She would go to the small library, the one that belonged to Nesta, and find something distracting to read, to take her mind elsewhere. She noticed light coming from inside as she approached and slowed, peeking through the cracked door. Nesta was inside, a book in her hand, facing the shelves on the opposite end of the room. Talia didn't want to disturb her but before she could quietly escape, Nesta turned and met her eyes.

She smiled. "I thought I heard you. Come on." She waved at Talia to enter.

Talia walked over to where the female stood but was unsure what to say, and was sure she looked horrible. Nesta spoke again. "Can't sleep?

"A nightmare. You?" Nesta looked at the healer over the top of the book she still held in front of her face.

"Cassian has been staying nights with Azriel, which is great" she shut the book with a thud. "But I'm.....bored." her eyes sparkled and Talia chuckled. She knew what she meant. "You want something to read, then? To take your mind off of it?"

"Please."

"Smutty or not smutty?"

Talia hesitated for a moment. "No smut for now."

"Hmm." Nesta stepped forward and plucked something off the shelf, looking sideways at Talia. "6 weeks in a cell, 3 more here, and you're not.....bored?" Talia blushed.

"Sex is....." she sighed. No use keeping it a secret, not when she wanted this friend. She attempted to keep a casual tone. "Not something I've had much choice in in life. Or taken much pleasure from." She took the book from the female's outstretched hand, watching regret flash on her features.

"Oh, Talia, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed."

Talia smiled comfortingly. "It's okay. I haven't exactly been open about it. But before coming here...." She trailed off, having never said the words out loud, Azriel had witnessed it in a way, Rhysand had seen it in her mind, but she had never said it so bluntly. "The men in that camp where Azriel landed were using me, and not for healing. It had been going on for months at that point." She clutched the novel that Nesta had handed her to her chest. "And it wasn't the first time in my life that I had been...used in that way."