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The one thing you couldn't allow yourself was to break down, not over this.. From all of the things you had been throught in life, this could not be the thing that broke it all down. Even after Kakashi had left, you still couldn't move from the hallway, the tears had stopped a while ago by now.. But not the pain, not the heartache. Of all the things the boys could even belive about you this would have to be the worst.. Easy.. You were easy and proved it.
When your legs started to move thowards the bathroom, the soreness were the most noticeable. Each step felt like you were walking on broken glass, but you didn't flinch. You turned the water on, splashing cold water on your face to get the swelling down after the crying, before you dried the sensetive skin and threw the towel away. If you stayed inside this appartment now, you would sure go crazy by the end of the night. With a loud sigh you decided to finally take that well needed shower, before getting dressed in more civillian clothing and stepping out of your home.
It was late at this point.. Most people were home with their family at this hour, or in bed. The rest seemed to be at the bars, hearing the loud laughters and talks from all over as you walked down the mainstreet. Very typichal summer night.. People out and about, travelers enjoying themself as the temprature were still warm, even this late at night. The whistles from the drunk men at the bars were easy to ignore.. It was not uncommon seeing that kind of behaviour from drunk men while wearing civillian clothing, or travelers that didn't know whats best for them. The comments that could be thrown would never make you bat a eye, but in the state you were in at the moment it was not as easy.
Easy.. A pice of meat... It was all you seemed to be for most. You shaked your head as you turned the corner, walking throught the ally to get to the river. "We have tried to get your attention a while now sugarplum" your head raised a bit as you had heard that voice thrown some comments in the street earlier. When the other walked up from behind you sighed, always the travelers.. "You know, stupid nicknames always gives the creeps away?" with a shrug you walked past him. "go to back to the inn, any disturbance will get reported" Normally a warning would make them back down, at least when you were in uniform.
This time though, they wanted to test your patience.. As it was not low from before. When one of them grabbed your wrist, you stopped. "Come on, sugar.. Be a little easy?" The smugness in the mans voice and the word triggered something inside of you as you turned around, grabbing the man by the collar and threw a good punch to his face. When he landed in the street in front of you, your eyes looked back the the other man who looked paler than before, then took off running. You scoffed as you walked over to the other man you had punched and looked at him. "was that easy enough for you?" one brow raised slightly before you walked past him, hands back in the pockets.
"You didn't do enough damage" That was the last voice you wanted to hear right now. "how long have you been following me?" You didn't bother to stop, it wouldn't even be worth it. At least the anger the men infused in you still lingered, making it easier too ignore the other problem. "Just a few minutes.. You didn't let me finnish earlier" Kakashi caught up to you faster than you liked. "I am not planning to let you finnish either" You Avoidied looking at him, and even aknowlegde his presence further as you conntinued down to the river. Whatever he had to say at this point you didn't want to hear it, because deep down you knew you could not handle it.. You knew it allready.
You sat down on the grass near the river, looking over at how the moon reflecting in the water. It was almost a full moon, making the moonlight shine brighter than usual. Had you only been allowed to be alone to enjoy it. "I don't want you to be hurt unecessary like this, Y/N.." Kakashi sat down next to you, leaving some space between you two. He knew he had to step lightly at the moment. "It hurt because it mattered, Kakashi.. There is nothing that can be said to change that.." It slipped, and you hadn't even looked at the man yet, still you couldn't hold yourself back from answering or caring for him. "Maybe the whole truth would explain a bit more.."
You didn't answer him.. Maybe it was best to hear him out.. Or maybe it would make it worse? That would be something you had to figure out when he is done soo it seemed. "Yes it was a bet.. Like I told you.. That was atleast what I thought at first. When it was started at the bar I joined in to dissprove what I thought was Genma's claims" Normally Kakashi would know what to say in any situation, but this had became a more personal matter.. "Genma made that bet up to push some buttons....and when you let me in and things happened I was suprised... Soo to make sure I did it again, and again.. Then.." Kakashi let out a deep sigh, mentally cursing himself for what he was saying, and how bad it truly sounded.
"You needed to check how many times to see if I was easy?" it couldn't be helped, you looked over at him with a raised brow.. More confused than angry this time. "That is not what I meant.." He started to become flustered, not sure how to explain it or himself to you. "He made that bet to purpously push my buttons and open up to you, but the more things went on I forgot about the whole thing for a while...until you went on that mission with him and I was concerned that he might had mentioned or tried anything" Kakashi took a long pause.
"When you brought up the I won thing...I knew he had said something about it, and I did not want it to come out like this." He layed down and looked up at the sky, thinking his words throught a few times as he noticed you still didn't answer. "I have liked you for a while... But I knew you deserved better than what I could offer, but when Genma made that bet I had a moment of weakness and selfisness.. And it conntinued on.." It was alot to take in as you replayed it all in your head a couple of times. "Soo you didn't just use me?"
"no.. I could never use you like that... It was real, at least from my side" You sighed before looking back at the river a bit. "seems like we both were having some moments of selfishness and cowardness..." You mumbled a bit before looking back at him. "I have liked you for a while too.. Even if Genma's matchmaking seems to be very problematic.. I am willing to forget about this" At least your friends didn't betray you, and hurt you on purpose. "I might be stupid for testing my luck here.. But does that mean we can start over? No bet, just us two figuring this out, togheter?" Kakashi was now sitting up next to you. "I thought there were no us?"
"not yet, but I would like it to be" You could see he was smiling, a genuine smile that made you blush. "I would like that too..."
