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His Exception

His Exception
Written by: jlrescel

Note: I'm not professional nor gifted when it comes to writing. I don't sugarcoat words either, so everything I'm gonna mention here is purely based on my opinion and on my knowledge, and I may have prob'bly missed some flaws, but I hope I could really help you to improve more. Keep writing!

Characters:

Hi, writer-nim! Maraming salamat sa paghihintay! Una sa lahat, kudos sa paglikha mo sa mga character ng kuwentong ito. May kanya-kanya silang boses at makikita talaga ang pagkakaiba nila sa isa't isa. Talagang naramdaman ko na "nag-e-exist" ang mga character dahil bawat isa sa kanila ay binigyan mo ng spotlight. You did not fail to tell us what kind of character they are. You let them speak for their own stories, kahit brief background lang sa iba.

As for each of the main characters of this story, I'll tell you what I have in mind about them.

With that being said, I'll start with our female main character:

1. Johanna - I just want to say thank you for creating her character. She's just a fictional character, but she felt so real. She can connect with most of us. 'Yong tipong babaguhin mo ang hitsura mo para lang matanggap at magustuhan ka ng iba. 'Yong nararamdaman niyang inggit at selos sa kapwa babae na sa tingin niya ay nakahihigit sa kanya, tipong nagre-result na para bumaba ang tingin sa sarili niya. She changed herself and tried to fit into their world or into this world, which is something that anyone can relate. Maybe at first, she doesn't seem like a fit. Para siyang bilog na pilit na pinagkakasya sa isang triangular na butas. Pero dahil ginusto niya talagang magkasya, tinapyas niya ang sarili para maging kahugis ng tatsulok.

As a main character, she's supposed to have mistakes and imperfections. You showed us how flawed her character is, which is good since fiction is still based on reality. We might have created this story through our imagination, but these characters are portraying us and our real life scenarios kaya para sa akin ay maayos ang pagkakahulma mo sa character niya.

Her emotions are raw and laid-out perfectly. Naramdaman ko ang bawat sakit, pighati, galit, pagsisisi, at kung ano-anong emosyon na naramdaman niya sa istorya. She's really the main character of this story. Kahit may nangyari pang hindi maganda sa mga huling chapter, kuha niya pa rin ang simpatya ko.

Basta ayun, kudos talaga sa pag-create mo sa kanya. I'm glad na nakayanan niya pa ring bumangon sa kabila ng mga naging pagsubok niya sa buhay.

2. Chandler - Hahaha. Sorry na agad, ah, pero didiretsuhin ko na. I don't really get his character. He's like a code that not everyone can crack. He's like Calculus and I am that student who can't completely understand it.

One moment, he showed signs that he likes Johanna, tapos biglang parang hindi. Noong nagkaroon sila ng confrontation ni Johanna about sa nararamdaman niya para sa huli, his words are just words to me. Ewan ko, medyo magulo rin kasi siya. Ang hirap basahin kung ano'ng tumatakbo sa isip niya. Although sure, I already know why they can't be together and I understand why he's inconsistent when it comes to Johanna (because Brianna's there. Right, I kinda get it), but I don't know. Nahirapan pa rin akong intindihin siya, probably because: a) I only know Johanna's side. Nagpaliwanag man nang onti si Chandler pero hindi pa rin iyon enough for me para mas maintindihan siya nang lubusan and b) okay, wala nang b hahaha.

At dahil gusto ko talaga siyang maintindihan, ta-try ko 'yung Kidlin's Law:

"If you can write the problem down clearly, then the matter is half solved."

Let's say Chandler likes Johanna back then, but since they're in the same band and they're friends, she became their exception kaya nakipagrelasyon si Chandler sa iba at hindi na lang pinagtuunan ng pansin ang sariling nararamdaman. Then he met a lot of girls. One of them is Katelyn and they become a thing. Habang sila pa ng nabanggit, nakilala niya naman si Brianna. They might have chatted for a minute, but it went on for days, then weeks. He saw something in her that he didn't see on his past girlfriends or flings, kabilang na si Katelyn na noon ay girlfriend pa niya. Brianna understands his sentiments and he also understands her, so he decided to breakup with Katelyn. Naging sila ni Brianna pero wala silang pinagsabihang iba. Then Johanna made a move to kiss him in front of everybody. And somehow, that confuses him. The flame inside him ignited once again. He might have thought it was just nothing for her, so he was mad-not only to her for awakening the flame, but to him as well for being affected.