There's Always Second Chances

Chapter 44

Today's the day! I was so nervous. I looked at the clock and saw the flashing red numbers. It was 4 in the morning. Why was it so early? The darkness outside still hadn't been pierced by the sun rays. I walked into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee. I never usually went for such a beverage but today, I needed that extra bit of energy. 

"What are you doing up?" I asked as soon as I turned round. I somehow neglected to see Søren sitting at the table nursing a cup of coffee himself. I placed my mug down and shrugged. "Was you like this?" I asked referring to the pit of nerves in my body. Søren nodded and shifted his weight forwards. I haven't forgotten the way he paced on his wedding day and shook so much he couldn't tie his tie. I know he was nervous but I wanted to know if it went deeper than just surface level. 

"I was up at 3 in the morning trying to reason with myself that it wasn't a dream. Honestly, Andrea was out of my league. I didn't deserve her but after all these years, a marriage and now trying for a baby, I've learned that it wasn't that she was out of my league, it's just that I put myself down to the point where I thought I wasn't deserving of love." Søren spoke. 

I listened to what he had to say, taking it in as though it was sacred advice. It was well needed advice that's for sure. I didn't know he felt like that but it was comforting to know that I wasn't alone and that feeling nervous before your big day was normal. 

"Nat loves you, you have nothing to worry about and I'm pretty sure her wanting a child with you and committing herself to not just you but Naomi too is what she wanted. I don't think for one minute that she'll ever just up and leave." Søren mused. I hummed and took some more sips of the sweetened coffee. I guess he was right. It's just that I didn't want this to turn out wrong. I wanted everything to be perfect. I didn't want to mess up like Dad. I didn't want her to up and leave like her Mum and I didn't want this relationship to end. 

We conversed for hours until it was time to get ready. The nerves just kept piling on each other and by the time I was waiting at the venue, I felt like there was a tonne weight hanging from my shoulders. I shouldn't feel so dreadful, I love Nat and Nat loves me. I watched as people filed in and sat in the pews. "That's a lot of people," I whispered to Søren. He laughed. "You've spoke in front of plenty more at school," he reminded me. I sighed. He had me there. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. There was nothing wrong with the people here. I've become a recluse since raising Naomi but all my family and friends were here. 

The vast room was filled with the buzz of quiet conversation and the moment I heard the first key of music be played, my heart started racing. This was it. This was the moment I've been waiting for all these years. The moment my younger self never saw happening. The doors at the end of the hall opened revealing my bride to be. 

Beautiful white silk and lace hugged her body in all the right places and the lower half of the dress looked so light and fluffy. Each step she took, I was further and further entranced. This was the girl who agreed to be my wife. So beautiful dressed in white that she looked like an angel. Finally she made her way to me as the music faded, her hand being handed over to mine by her Dad. 

"Welcome, family, friends and dearly beloved. We gather here today to celebrate the wedding of Adrian and Natasha. You have come here to share in this formal commitment they make to one another, to offer you love and support to this union, and allow Adrian and Natasha to start their married life together surrounded by the people dearest and most important to them. So welcome one and and all, who have travelled from near and far. Adrian and Natasha thank you for you presence here today and now ask for you blessing, encouragement, and lifelong support for their decision to be married." our officiant spoke. 

He opened his black book and started to read from his notes. 

"Marriage, is perhaps the greatest and most challenging adventure of human relationships. No ceremony can create your marriage; only you can do that through love and patience; through dedication and perseverance; through talking and listening; helping and supporting and believing in each other. It is also gained through tenderness and laughter, through learning to forgive; learning to appreciate your difference and learning to make the important things matter and to let go of the rest. What this ceremony can do is to witness and affirm the choice you make to stand together as husband and wife." he spoke.